The DonnaBlog

I was thinking of a simple word or phrase to describe events of these last couple of days.  Unexpected explains it.

I don’t really want to go into too much history about my ex-wife and me other than to say the past couple of years have included times when I felt we were finally getting past the anger and frustration that has kept us from having any kind of relationship at all.  Somehow, though, every time I think we’re making progress we seem to hit a wall and it all turns back into anger again.

We haven’t seen each other in over a year.  We haven’t spoken in many many months.  And, I had no plans to communicate any time soon.  That changed yesterday.

I don’t feel like going into too many details but I will share that she and I went out to dinner last night, and it was very pleasant.  Today  she, I, my son, and a friend of mine spent most of the afternoon together.  It was pleasant, too.  And tonight I have nothing negative to say about anything at all the has happened recently.  Even my son was surprised at how things have unfolded.  I hope this Christmas spirit, or whatever has transformed things over the past couple of days,  lasts.  I really do.

I envision lots of movies in my future this week.  Up In the Air.  Avatar.  Shirlock Holmes.  The new one with Hugh Grant (I find him funny).   I expect a quiet New Year’s Eve with friends.  Then on Friday I head back east again for a few days. 

The day has  been f ull one besides sightseeing with my ex and son and Jamy.  We went to church.  I spent an hour at the gym as pennance for all my extra Holiday desserts.  We drove three hours to get from Austin back to Dallas.  Skies were blue.  Temperatures were warm – it was truly a day unlike any that have come before it.

What next?  I don’t know.  We’ll have to see how it all unfolds.  After all – that’s the fun part.

Tomorrow night marks the 11th anniversary of my father’s death.  It was sometime in the night of Dec 28 or early morning of Dec 29.  I found out when my mom called me at work  early the next morning to tell me the news.  I’ve never felt that he has been as much a part of my own life as lately.  I hope that continues, too.  I’m going to really need him as this next week unfolds. 

People ask me if I’m happy.  In a word – yes I am.  (actually, that’s 3 words).  But happy to me is an emotion whereas “fulfilled” or “at peace” represent deeper senses of comfort.  After all that has happened – between events over Thanksgiving to events over these past couple of days – the anser is still yes.  It all represents change.  And as much as I’d like to settle down it will require some change to get there from here.