Professionalism Suffers
A sad situation, and a call to action.
The annual IFGE Conference is happening in Philadelphia this week. Somehow, I find myself doing more workshops than I've ever done before. I'm not quite sure how that happened. One friend recently used a phrase that I really enjoy. When describing all the extra things I've been doing in my "volunteer" life he said "You've become a victim of your own competency." Amen to that.
There is something weighing on my mind that I'd like to bring up as I prepare for this event. It's something that has bothered me for a year now. It's something that's fairly touchy so I'll do my best to approach it delicately.
One thing the wonderful things about these conferences is that it provides an opportunity for service providers who work with our community to actually meet the community. I provides a chance for us to meet as a group to consider surgeons, psychologists, and a whole range of services to and for us. And, it provides opportunities for many of us to make important decisions on our own care. I really enjoy these kinds of things, and I suggest that anyone who can ever attend one do it. The energy is so wonderfully positive, and the opportunity to meet others is just so important. When done right, they rock!!
How many of us chose a surgeon after doing research and actually meeting with surgeons at a conference? I did. I wasn't happy with simply accepting what others had to say, or making these kinds of life-altering choices without first having some direct contact with the people I was considering. These conferences provide that opportunity and, if nothing else, they help all of us make the best decisions for ourselves.
Actually, I met my dear friend Elizabeth at one of these conferences. It was at the very beginning of her journey and somehow whatever it is that brings people together worked its magic on us at that conference. It's almost like we have an informal "Little Sister" program and these conferences seem to be wonderful ways of meeting and finding little sisters. More than simply little sisters, some of the the relationships we make turn into life-long friendships. For those of us who haven't had a chance to experience that as our authentic selves that's priceless.
The problem at hand is that these conferences have recently turned into battlegrounds in a way I've never seen before. Rather than simply explaining their services, techniques, concepts, and fees - some have taken it upon themselves to launch negative attacks on others. That is, they have adopted a strategy to make themselves look good by directly attacking others. That is wrong. And, none of us can allow it to continue.
To take that approach is a direct affront to each and every one of us. Whatever happened to professionalism? Whatever happened to ethics? Do we not deserve these things? Should we not expect them? It makes these people look like cheap car salesmen, or ambulance chasing lawyers. For a service provider to make themselves look good at the expense of another is a negative reflection on that person, and it needs to be perceived as such. I understand the value of marketing, and of sales, and of all the other tools available for somebody to grow their business and their reputation. However, a smear campaign is NOT one of those tools and it should not and cannot be tolerated.
What happens is that it pits "us" against "them". It casts a negative pall over what should be a positive, uplifting, spirited event. It takes attention from more important substantive discussions. In short, it steals the spotlight by highlighting the negative things all of us try to avoid. Again - that is unacceptable. To attack someone is to invite them to defend themselves, which in turn turns into another attack. It's a vicious cycle that demeans all of us. It is absolutely and totally unacceptable.
I'm not naming any names here. It is not my place to do that, and frankly I'm not limiting this discussion to any one or two or three people. This approach must be expected from anyone and everyone who would serve our community.
Here is my suggestion - if you hear one surgeon directly bad-mouthing another, or one psychologist directly attacking another, stop the conversation right then and there. Take the high road by saying that you'd like to consider your options based on constructive conversation, not based on a smear campaign. Opinions need to be separated from fact. Good work will stand on its own merit. Professionalism is part of what each of us must expect from the people we deal with. That's just the way it is.
If there is to be a change in this unfortunate decline of professionalism from a few it must come from us. We can't allow it to happen. We must take a stand. And, when enough of us do that we will raise the standard of excellence that we all expect.
Donna Rose - 04/04/2006
www.donnarose.com