Our Lives / Our Stories / Our Selves

"To conquer fear is the beginning of Wisdom"
 -- Bertrand Russell

I learned quite a while ago that the most important thing that any of us can share is our story - our experience. This has been true for as long as man has existed, as stories have been passed from generation to generation.  In fact, much of who and what we think we know is based on the collective experience of those who have come before us.

To be perfectly honest, that one single thing was the most empowering realization in my own life transition - finding that there were others out there who were just like me, who had dealt with what I was experiencing and who seemed to be intelligent, well-adjusted, and (most importantly) happy.  After a lifetime of dealing with my own personal demons alone, of thinking that I must be the only one, the internet suddenly opened a world of possibility to me where there had been none before.  Not because it showed me what to do, but because by sharing what others had done, it gave me hope.

In the same was as I think Lynn Conway's 'TS Successes" page is so vitally important, I think it's critical to provide visibility to the deeper things: relationships, careers, family issues, spiritual issues, etc. that so many of us deal with.  These are the things we all share to one degree of another, and the lessons each of us learn have value.

I am creating this portion of my website for a number of reasons:

• I believe there are many people who would like to share their experience, but who do not want the hassle of maintaining a web page to do it.  So, I'll provide a forum here where I'm happy to post whatever others would like to share in an effort to help develop a pool of conventional wisdom. 
• More than simply a site for those who are transitioning, I provide this space for anyone who would like to share.  That's true for people who consider themselves cross-dressers, or drag queens, or gender queer, or whatever.  It's also a place for spouses, family, friends or others who know a transgendered individual.  This space is available for those who want to share their experience and their insight - the good AND the bad - with others.
• The single most important thing we can do to foster acceptance and to address the unrealistic negative stereotypes that continue to plague us is to humanize ourselves.  The best way to do that is to share our stories, to put a human face on ourselves. 

Some initial thoughts:

• This is not a place to get even with someone, or to harbor a grudge. 
• The key here is honesty. 
• Take as much time or space as you need.
• Feel free to send a photo if you'd like.
• Feel free to write about any specific aspect of your life/transition (ie. workplace, family, marriage, coming out to kids, etc.)
• To be included here, simply write it up in a MS-word document and forward it to me.  It might be helpful to include some basic personal information (ie. age, where you live, etc.) although this is certainly not necessary.
• Please tell others that this is here.  It will only be as valuable as the people who provide input, and the people who know it's available.
• I have the final say on anything I post here. If this becomes unruly for whatever reason I'll have to make some decisions on whether the issues involved in maintaining it are justified by the value that it provides .

Our Stories

The following transition stories have been provided by readers of this site.  I publish them here exactly as provided.  I do not make any claims regarding accuracy or motivation - readers can judge those things for themselves.