Alarming
A few things I'm seeing that I find alarming...

I've seen and heard a few things in recent weeks - some of which made me sad, some of which make me nervous, and some of which make me diligent.  I'm in a feisty mood this morning so get ready...

The first was a local news story.  In fact, it was the cover story on the Phoenix New Times, a local paper dedicated to local news that traditional newspapers just don't seem to find newsworthy.  It's actually a very well done paper - it's free and most weeks you can't find any copies laying around by the end of the week - people have taken them all.  Without getting into too much detail it'd probably be easier to visit their website:  www.phoenixnewtimes.com.

Their recent cover story was titled "The Crying Game", and the tagline reads "Despite a celebrated history, Native American transgenders struggle in the modern world."  Take a few minutes to read it.

I mention it here for a few reasons.  First, during many "Trans 101" educational discussions one topic often mentioned is the way different cultures have treated people who were "different" through the ages.  People who have demonstrated characteristics of both genders have been around for as long as there have been people there to record it and many of us argue that this phenomenon isn't somehow new or bad or evil - it's simply the narrow  interpretation of our western culture that makes it seem this way.  One culture we often particularly highlight is the Native American culture, where people actually had to prove that they were "dual spirited".  Once proven, the "berdache" achieved a position of prominence in the tribe - often becoming the teachers of the tribal children in the hopes that some of their knowledge and wisdom would wash off.

Sadly, reading this article is like learning that there is no Santa Clause.  It's like finding out that the tooth fairy doesn't exist.  Life for many of our sisters is harsher and harder than many of us can even imagine and I our collective continued educational and advocacy efforts cannot forget them.. 

In some ways I truly feel that democracy has failed many people in this country - or at least the flavor of democracy currently being bagged and sold.  There was a time when the weakest in the society were given opportunities to gain a foothold, to gain a sense of value.  Somehow, something has changed where value judgments are being made about who is worth "saving" and who isn't.  In fact, I'd argue that this single issue is foundational to many of the other fights we find ourselves in lately.  As long as our society makes negative value judgments about who and what the transgender community represents we'll find ourselves on the side of the "who gives a damn" line where none of us can afford to be.  That's why all this work is so important because THAT'S what we're working to change.  Individual laws are certainly important, but in the bigger picture it's providing opportunities to educate, to humanize ourselves, to demonstrate that we do deserve the help and support that our society purports to provide to it's weakest and neediest.

Anyway, read the article.

In this same vein, I read an article that implies that Barbie is somehow part of a "transgender agenda" because there's an online questionnaire asking some basic questions, and possible responses to the question asking what sex you are are: "I'm Boy", "I'm a Girl", and "I don't know".  Check this out:

Barbie fighting for transgender rights, claims conservative group
Blogging Baby - Santa Monica,CA,USA
... Is it the homosexual agenda, the bisexual agenda, or the transgender agenda? Or is this some new "bisexuality transgender" agenda that I haven't heard about? ...
See all stories on this topic

This is absolutely crazy.  Ridiculous is too kind of a word. 

GenderPAC is all over it and sent out a response today.  They're spot on.  Read it here.

The last thing I want to talk about at the moment is something called "Leadership".  I was planning to write an Op/Ed piece on it but I've decided to try to write something more substantive and see if it can get printed.  We'll see.  If not, you'll see it here.  I'm so tired of people who purport to be leaders but who, in my opinion, show very little in the way of anything most of us would identify as that elusive quality called "Leadership".  The more I get involved with politics the more I meet politicians, and at the same time the more I realize that Leaders and Politicians are two completely separate things.  That's a problem.  We expect our politicians to be leaders, but they don't, won't or can't.  We expect people to step up to be leaders but far too often they don't have the appropriate role models - there's a huge difference between being a leader and being a martyr.

Does leadership choose you, or do you choose it?  That's a good question.  Funny thing - I was in Half Price book with my mom a few weeks ago and there was a book there titled "Leadership Through The Ages: A Collection of Favorite Quotations."  It cost $1.00.  It's almost like thinking leadership is a few good quotations and a dollar.  And, I'll tell you here and now the biggest thing that chafes me isn't those who don't step up to lead.  It's those who have nothing better to to than to criticize leadership.  That's all they do.  They prefer to make it personal, and have nothing substantive to add or to share.   To that I have a simple response - if you can do it better, or if you want to play a part - get involved.  Pure and simple.  But don't think that a one dollar book and an email account mean you have half a brain.  There's more to it than that.

Am I a leader?  Some would say so.  Others spend far too much energy trying to argue that I'm not.  I could care less.  I'm me, for better or for worse - and that's that.  Either way - leadership isn't the goal.  Achieving something important is the goal.  The fact of the matter is that you can't do that without someone willing to have the chutzpah to make difficult decisions, to be unpopular, to say it the way it is, to have an opinion, to TRY.  Leaders do the things they do not because they fancy themselves as leaders but because they see things that need doing and they're not afraid to make them happen.  The problem, you see, is that somewhere we've lost that understanding.  We've lost that context of leadership.  And, in the process, look at where our country sits right now.  It's a mess.  And, in a country based on democracy - where people actually choose their leaders and whose leaders are supposed to act in the best interests of their people - the saddest part of all is that we've got nobody to blame but ourselves.

One would like to believe that you can tell how effective a leader you are by how many people are lined up behind you.  But that's not how the world works.  That's called popularity - not leadership.  Being a leader is more than being able to manipulate people's fears and insecurities.  The reason I find this particularly alarming is that we'll be heading into another presidential election soon.  The problem we've had over these past several elections - that has truly demonstrated some horrible things about the state of the American culture - is that in we find ourselves with a wealth of manipulative politicians and a critical shortage of leaders.  The two are not one and the same, and we cannot be lulled into believing that they are.

Just as an example - I'm in the middle of working with a group here in Phoenix to get some relatively simple things changed, but everyone is afraid to step up.  Everyone finds a reason NOT to.  Everyone is so trapped into the political machinery that making even the simplest things happen has become next to impossible.  And, who becomes the bad guy in all of this?  Me.  That's who.  The person who points out that I can count the leaders I've met since moving to Phoenix on one hand.  People don't like to hear that.  But, it's true.  And, you know what - I tell you this.  Feel free to Blame me.  Blame me for being unrealistic.  Blame me for not being a "team player" because frankly this team couldn't find the playing field much less get anything accomplished on it.  Blame me for believing that there needs to be a Plan A and a Plan B to get these things done, and that neither of them needs to include in-your-face confrontation.  Blame me for holding people accountable for the things they say they're going to do.  Does it sound like I'm bitter?  Perhaps I am.  But I'll tell you this - you learn real fast who gives a damn and who doesn't.

I'm not trying to explain that I or you or anyone else is a leader.  I like to think that leadership remains a special enough quality that we know it when we see it.  Nobody needs to tell us where it is.  Given the opportunity, it will make itself known.  And the key isn't to make more politicians in the mold that seems so currently popular - it's to make leaders who can ignite people.  That's where we have failed - where ALL of us have failed - in recent choices. 

The thing that so many people seem to forget is that this country was founded by people who weren't able to think differently, act differently, or believe differently back in their home countries.  They chose to endure the dangers of starting fresh in an uninhabited land to have those freedoms, rather than be persecuted by small minded societies that thrived on highlighting fear, insecurity, and anything perceived as "different".  That's where we are now.  We have become that puritan Europe that free-thinking people set sale to escape to start America 200+ years ago.  We have ALL become as judgmental and as insecure as any society has EVER been.  And, the only way to stem that tide is to find a leader willing to take it on.  Some would argue that that's impossible.  I would argue that it's not.  I'd argue that everyday people do extraordinary things - not because they want to but because far too often they realize they have to.  That's leadership.  That's Courage.  And, I'd argue, that's our Hope for the future.

Lastly...

My father once told me to believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see.  I say that as a preface to this story as I'm about to share something I've heard.  I hope it isn't true.  But, if it is true or if anything like it becomes true, I'm covered.

I'm told that one of the hospitals that performs SRS will be allowing a reality television series to be filmed there.  If true, this does more than alarm me - it sickens me.

It could be argued that this could be a good thing.  I, for one, will have a very difficult time swallowing that.  To me, these kinds of surgeries and procedures are incredibly profound, personal, private, and important.  By turning them into entertainment you're not educating the world - you're cheapening it.  You're lowering it.  You've become no better than "The Swan", or "Drastic Plastic Surgery".  There are far better ways to educate, to give people glimpses of what and who we really are.  Putting television cameras into the lives of patients arriving for SRS is not one of them.

If this is not true, thank God.  If this is true, I encourage anyone approached to be involved to say 'no'.  Do not sign a waiver saying you'll participate.  Do not ensure that your 15 seconds of fame are entertainment for a world that takes the entire thing out of context.  If you cannot do that, you'll have nobody to blame for the results but yourself.

I ask you this - how can any of us expect the rest of the world to take us seriously if we can't do it ourselves?  That's the heart of this question. 

As I say, perhaps it's a rumor.  I hope so - for the sake of our community, for the sake of the surgeon involved, for the sake of the potential people whose lived would be exposed on it.  But, just in case, you know how I feel.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion- and that's mine.

Posted 1/6/2006