Donna's Blog
The View From OTHER Side.

Not too long ago an acquaintance mentioned that being transsexual had somehow become vogue, almost trendy.  I had to laugh, as I can think of a pazillion easier ways to seem trendy than having a sex change.  Who knew?  Oh well.  To each their own, I suppose.

A blog means different things to different people.  That being said, my blog will not be a diary, or a journal.  I consider those things to be inherently private except to only the most trusted and intimate friends.  Rather, it will document some of the miscellaneous exploits and observations in the day-to-day banality of my trying-to-be-ordinary-but-never-seeming-to-get-there life.

Perhaps even more than that, though, it will provide an outlet for my need for creative expression.  I don't have that opportunity in my career or at home so I'll allow this medium to fill that void and see where things go.  These writings will be spur-of-the-moment, what-I'm-thinking-now kinds of things, so I apologize in advance for the rough nature.  Also, I really don't want to debate the things I put here.  I feel no need to defend myself.  So, I ask that you please read these entries in the spirit that they're offered - a spirit where barriers are down and difference of opinion is respected and encouraged.  Hopefully, there will be something of value here for others.

Until I figure out how to do the technical back-end stuff to make my "new" blog show up here automatically, please visit my new Blog: www.donnarose.com/MyBlog

Friday, May 2, 2008

11:15 pm:  Our nearly weeklong trip is coming to a close.  Maggie has been as close to an angel as can be, and I'll be posting photos from the trip shortly.  I had a reservation to fly home on Southwest in the morning only to learn that they're one of the few airlines that doesn't allow small pets in the cabin.  So, I had to cancel my reservation and make other arrangements - the good news being that Southwest allows you to use ALL your cancelled funds on another ticket.  Anyway, it was just a minor bump in the road and I think we'll be ok.  We've got an early morning flight home.

I'll be mostly using my "other" blog: www.donnarose.com/MyBlog from this point on.  In a way, I'm retiring the blog in this form and maturing to something new.  The blog has grown a life of its own in recent years and I expect that to continue.  I don't really control is so much as it morphs and changes on its own.  The only way to really see it is to see how it has happened over time.

I posted an entry there yesterday about our trip, and about the Dr. Phil Show on Tuesday.  I talked with my friends at GLAAD today who are hoping to hear from people who watched the show and who want to complain.  I didn't see it, but from the sounds of things it was pretty brutal.  Anyone who wants me to forward a note to GLAAD feel free to send it here.  Or, write to me and I'll be happy to share the contact info for the person at GLAAD who needs to know.

Wednesday, April 29, 2008

10:15 pm:  I've only got a few minutes before I need to get to bed. Puppy is finally tired out and laying next to me.  We need to get to bed for for the 2nd leg of our trip tomorrow when we fly to Austin.  If I had a dollar for everyone who touched the puppy today I'd be able to pay all the extra airfares that are involved in flying with animals. The thing I can't quite understand is why it costs extra when (a) they're under the seat just like any other piece of carry-on luggage (b) they're less troublesome than a screaming child and (c) they don't even get their fair share of peanuts or soda.  Anyway, I'm very glad to have brought the puppy with me.  It has been an amazing bonding week for us and she has been nothing short of incredible.

I'll write something about today's event in my "other" blog so stay tuned on that.  It was great, and thanks to everyone who arranged it and had any part of bringing me here to participate.  A local television station has posted a story about the event (see it here) and if you don't blink you'll see me talking to the group - I was the first speaker at the rally. 

I also owe photos from the GLAAD event in LA this past weekend - I haven't forgotten.  I did post something on Bilerico about it (GLAAD Media Awards in LA - Wow).  And, still no word on my missing camera.  :(

One thing that was announced today that I find interesting was the release of a joint publication between NCTE and The Task Force.

This is no small publication (download it here).  Weighing in at 80 pages it's much more than a pamphlet and the breadth of it shows the hard work involved. 

The thing I find particularly interesting is that this is one of the first joint publications between NCTE and The Task Force that I can remember.  There may be others, but I found that NCTE was typically courted by HRC to co-produce their transgender work (there are a half dozen or more of them).  In the aftermath of ENDA those of us who felt driven away have found other partners to work with.  NCTE is working with the Task Force and the NGLCC.  Jamison and I are working with Out and Equal. 

One of the things that Jamison and I are finding, and that is probably evident in this new publication as well, is that we're able to do things with our new "partners" that we couldn't do before.  It's actually very refreshing and it opens the doors to all kinds of new and exciting possibility.  I still believe that somehow, sometime, some way we'll find ourselves doing something substantive with our former partner (Jamison and I, either collectively or individually, that is....I can't speak for NCTE).  Whether that happens or not, the good news is that important work continues unabated.
 

Tuesday, April 28, 2008

7:15 am:  Puppy and I are in Albany.  Rather than re-hash the trip suffice to say that she traveled amazingly well and I couldn't have been happier or more proud of her.  Over the last several days her personality has really come out and she's playful, inquisitive, funny, smart and loving.  It's fun to watch, and even more fun to be part of. 

Yesterday was a day of firsts.  I had never traveled with a small dog on a plane before.  She started to get used to her leash.  She experienced rain (it was pouring when we arrived here last night, and cold).  It's a little better this morning, but not much.  She's staying at her first hotel (I wonder if they know she's here).  All in all - a big day for us both.

Today I'm speaking at Lobby Day here in New York.  Busses are bringing 1,000+ activists from all over the state to participate.  It's a massive undertaking and testament to what can happen with good leadership, committed people, effective planning, and focused goals come together.  One of the key initiatives here is GENDA, adding the 'gender identity' portion of ENDA back into the Sexual Orientation only version that was passed after a contentious and divisive fight here in 2001 (sound familiar?).  I'm thrilled to be part of this effort in my adopted home state of New York.

I got a call from a friend over the weekend asking me if I had had lunch with Joe Solmonese recently - she has been hearing rumors.  Of course, I haven't.  But I'll also share that if the opportunity were right, I would, and in fact next time I'm in DC (whenever that is) maybe I'll be the person who extends that invitation.  I've seen emails from people assuring everyone on various lists that they wouldn't meet one-on-one with Joe but somewhere, somehow, someone has got to start the flow of communication.  We're not going to agree on everything but at some point we have to find things that we do agree on and find ways to move forward on them for our mutual benefit. 

HRC has all they can handle on their plate this week - they announced their official endorsements for 14 Senators and candidates for 2008.  There is a conspicuous omission from the list, and others that are already raising eyebrows.  As part of the Politics and Policy Committee (PPC) I've seen how this process works behind the scenes and there is method to the madness.  There are reasons for why things happen and don't happen as far as their endorsements go and all I can say is that I'm glad I don't have to defend their political decisions any more.  The problem isn't so much in the decisions they're making as it is with the veil of secrecy over how the decisions are made - including ENDA.  Anyway, that world seems far away from me here in my hotel room in rainy, gray Albany with my puppy. 

Sunday, April 27, 2008

7:00 pm:  I'm back from Hollywood.  There's lots to talk about.

First things first.  The puppy is none the worse for wear from my being away for a couple of nights.  Thanks to Laura and her daughter for being such wonderful step-parents while I was gone.

She's in great spirits.  She has been playful, happy, energetic, funny, inquisitive, and generally very puppy-like since I got home.  She's eating well, and it seems as though the newness of it all from last week and the dopiness from her shots have both pretty much worn off.  And, she seems to have found her bark.  She makes me laugh, and that can't help but be a good thing.

I'm struggling with what to do with her this coming week.  I'm very strongly considering bringing her with me on my trip.  I've got a puppy carrying case on loan from a friend and am investigating what the "rules" are for bring a puppy on-board as a carry-on bag (it costs an extra $80 each way!).  I don't know how she'd do, it'd be a hassle, but in some ways I'd rather do that than leave her here for a week and be a hassle for others (I shortened the trip to get back on Saturday).  I need to make a decision soon because my flight leaves at 7:30 in the morning and I need to start packing.

The trip to LA for the GLAAD Awards was great.  My only source of disappointment is that I brought my big, nice Canon digital Rebel camera with one of my larger lenses with me and left it on a cab that took us to breakfast yesterday morning.  I'm sick about it, but such is life.  I'll call the Taxi company's Lost and Found tomorrow, but my confidence that I'll ever see it again is nil. 

It was fun to spend time with friends who came from around the country to attend - I think we all had a blast.  I got some good photos that I'll be posting here shortly.  Special thanks to Eden for pointing out who's who.  She seems to know everything and everyone in television and her patient explanations were much appreciated.  I'll be writing something for Bilerico about it, I think, after I'm done packing (if it's not too late).  Even with losing my camera it was well worth the trip.

There were several people I was particularly happy to bump into, and to have time to talk with.  I'm already looking forward to some of the follow-up conversations that we started.  The gift bag must have weighed 25 pounds and was full to the brim with all kinds of stuff.  One of the things that all of us noticed was that the tone of the entire evening was fully-inclusive.  There was rarely a time when the word "gay" wasn't followed shortly thereafter by the word "transgender".  It was particularly nice to see, and I can't thank the staff enough for the obvious behind-the-scenes-work for making it happen.  There were several trans people there - on stage, walking the red carpet, and in the audience.  All in all, nobody had a single complaint in that regard and I plan to write to Neil (the President of GLAAD) to thank him.

Neil's remarks were on-point and I noticed that more than one person around me was wiping away tears as he described some moving personal stories.  His mantra of "Telling our stories doesn't make a bit of difference - it makes all the difference" hit home in personal ways for many of us.  These events can be tremendously empowering - even life-changing - and although this was my first visit to the Los Angeles event I was relieved to see that the emotion of the message was not lost on the 3,000+ people that filled the Kodak Theater. 

Other highlights:

• Joss Stone gave a remarkable performance. 
• Comedian Kathy Griffin opened the event with a segment including her mom (see the photo above).  It was funny, and human.
• Model Cindy Crawford looked amazing in red.
• Actress Candis Cayne was stunning.  More importantly, she was friendly, gracious, accessible, and stayed behind long after much of the other "talent" had left.
• Janet Jackson was presented with Vanguard Award and had very little to say; it felt like she was only on stage for a minute or two.  Given that the event was already running long that's a minor quibble. 
• GLAAD has already posted photos from the event (see them here). 
• There are also several news reports of the event (here, and here, and here are some examples)
• The event will be broadcast on Bravo sometime soon so I'll try to give advance warning before that happens.
• A small group of us met for breakfast at Mel's Diner in Hollywood before we all headed in different directions.  It was the best breakfast I've had in a long time.

Lastly for tonight, on the political front I received confirmation that a 3rd transgender delegate will be making a trip to Denver for the Democratic National Convention in August.  Fellow Arizonian Amanda Simpson from Tucson will be one of the delegates from Arizona, and will be joining Diego Sanchez from MA and Merissa Richmand from TN.  I can't think of anyone better to represent our state than Amanda, and am thrilled for her.

BTW - if you've sent me email in the last week or so, know that I'm woefully behind and will be doing my best to catch up.  The combination of travel, work, puppy, and other obligations seem to keep me busy from morning to night.  Thanks for your patience....

Wish me luck on the airplane with puppy tomorrow.  This will be a first for both of us....

Friday, April 25, 2008

11:30pm:  I changed my flight to LA to early tomorrow morning which alleviated some of the pressure I was feeling.  I dropped Maggie off with a friend who will be watching her while I'm gone and I'm comfortable she's in good, loving hands.  Still, I already miss having her furry little lovable self around.  :(

I tried on some dresses on my way home tonight but decided that (a) I need to stop eating again and (b) I'm not going to invest in another dress right now.  I talked with my ex-wife for almost an hour, and I visited with my friend when I dropped Maggie off.  I wrote an entry on my "other" blog tonight (read it here).  I should have packed tonight but I'll do that at 5am before I leave.

There are some interesting topics cropping up in some very interesting places.  For example, there was a story in the New York Times today about married couples staying together through SRS:

I'm told that NBC is looking for couples because they're doing a story on this, as well.

I'll be participating in the Empire State Pride Agenda Lobby Day in Albany, NY on Tuesday.  I'll be here and there throughout the day but here's one event that everyone can attend:

I'm looking forward to this.

7:30am:  I took little Maggie to the vet yesterday for her second set of shots.  She weighs 6.7 pounds - just a teeny furball, really - and looks to be totally healthy.  She's got such a sweet, relaxed personality; the only time her eyes seemed to get big was when they took her temperature.  :)  She's been pretty much wiped out since yesterday and hasn't had much energy - not that I'm complaining too much.

Today I begin a very busy stretch that is now complicated by my little munchkin.  I'm scheduled to leave today to go to LA for the GLAAD Media Awards there tomorrow, and then back home mid-day Sunday. I leave on Monday morning for Albany, participate in the Empire State Pride Agenda Lobby Day on Tuesday, and fly to Austin on Wednesday.  The Out and Equal Workplace Summit kickoff is on Thursday, and I'll probably come home early from that to be with puppy.  I've got people loving on her while I'm gone so I'm not too worried in that regard.

There was a story from Reuters that appeared in the New York Times today titled "TV Has Never Seen More Transgender Characters".

Candis is scheduled to be at the event on Saturday and I look forward to thanking her and congratulating her myself.  I've got friends coming from around the country to sit at our table and I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone, and I hope we all have a chance to chat with her.  The timing of this article couldn't be more perfect because I consider this event to be a celebration of the emergence of Transgender characters in mainstream media.

Does anyone underestimate the impact that broad visibility of transgender lives on mainstream television?  We talk about this vague concept of "education" that needs to happen to move the culture to be more accepting and understanding and although each of us can certainly play a part in that these mainstream media opportunities reach millions and millions of people.  As much as providing visibility into our lives the fact that we're there at all is a statement of legitimacy and empowerment that no amount of money can buy.  These portrayals have come a long way from characters who were either criminals, victims, sex-workers, mentally-ill, or otherwise de-valued.  I'm working with the staff at GLAAD to produce a DVD about the changing portrayal of transgender in the Media through the years and we're all very excited about it.  Stay tuned as that develops....

It's really exciting to be involved in the behind-the-scenes planning in some of the events that happen each year.  One of the reasons I got involved with HRC locally while living in Austin was to participate in the dinner planning.  It was an introduction to the broader GLBT community to someone who had never been there before.  Now, I'm doing stuff with Southern Comfort (don't forget, the deadline for workshop proposals is May 15!), we're already working on the Out and Equal Workplace Summit, I'm doing stuff with GLAAD, Jamison and I are working on things together - it's great to be able to work with so many committed people.  It certainly cuts down on free-time, but I can't imagine NOT doing these things right now.

On a more somber note, today is the 12th annual "Day of Silence".  The website explains it as follows:

Because of recent violence against GLBT students in schools around the country there is significant visibility on the event today.  It is receiving broad visibility (Los Angeles Times, The Advocate, and many, many more).  As one might expect, some are not happy about the visibility and are pushing back with their own initiatives.  At a high school outside Seattle a "church group" is calling for "prayer warriors" to participate in a counter-protest outside the school (details here, and here, and here).  I can't tell you how hate-mongerers and bigots masquerading under the charade of religion make my blood boil - don't even get me going on that.  Anyway, today is an important day to support our youth. 

I need to get the day going.  This next week looks to be crazy, and that doesn't even factor in my responsibilities as work that remain a priority and that I always somehow seem to balance with everything else.  It's one of those mysteries I don't try to explain any more.  I just cross my fingers and hope it continues...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

6:30am:  I'm a data person.  There's a saying in IT - "If you can measure it you can manage it" - so data and metrics and statistical analysis is all part of this data-grounded world that I call a career.  The fact is that I actually enjoy data.  I enjoy looking for relationships, anomalies, cause/effect, trends.  That stuff is fun for me.

The reason that I bring it up is that I'm having some fun doing a little analysis on companies and various Diversity/Ranking scores.  We could talk long and hard about HRC's Corporate Equality Index - what it is and what it isn't - and I'll defend it to the death for what it is while at the same time acknowledging the shortcomings for what it isn't.  This post isn't about the CEI.  It's about Diversity scores or  "rankings" in general.

There are several "Best Company" lists.  How does a company get near the top of one?  I'm sure that we all have ideas on that and I'm not looking to argue that point here.  The thing I find interesting, however, is to compare the companies from one list to another.  For example, I looked at the 33 companies listed in the Fortune article of the Best Big Companies to work for.  I checked the CEI scores for each of these companies and found that 15 of them have a score of 100.  2 have a score between 90-99.  2 have a score between 80-99.  One has a score of 75.  And, the 4th best large company to work for according to this list - FedEx - has a score of 55.  None of that really surprises me.  One thing I found interesting, however, was that over a third of these companies, 12 to be exact, don't report a score to HRC for the CEI at all.

I also find it very, very interesting to compare this list with DiversityInc's list of 50 Top Companies for Diversity 2008 (see that list here).  Does anyone else find it interesting that only 2 companies are on both lists?  What does this mean?  I'm not sure - I just find it odd that only 2 of the companies rated as the best for Diversity are on the list of best places to work.  One thing it does probably mean is that these lists are aren't meant to be be-all, end-all rankings.  They make good press, but I'd take the results with a grain of salt.

Anyway - this is interesting stuff.  Anyone who attended the Thursday diversity lunch at IFGE in Tucson heard me share some work that Jamison and I are doing with Out and Equal to develop a survey that doesn't measure corporate policy, but it measures actual employee experience and overall corporate culture.  I expect that the results will be fascinating.  I'll have more to share on that as it develops.

Someone sent me a photo from IFGE that I actually like.  I don't like many photos of myself - but I can't complain about this one.  :)

Not everyone sees the workplace gains we are making as a good thing.  Focus on the Family has an opinion on the gains we are making in the workplace:

Did you see the news story about a woman in Florida who found an 8 ft. alligator in her kitchen?  (see it here)  I couldn't help but laugh hearing the 911 operator asking her is she's sure that it isn't an "iguana or a large lizard" and the woman says "no no no no no" - looking at this huge alligator that takes up her entire kitchen floor.  Too funny.

Puppy has a vet appointment today.  They tend to poke and prod at these things.  I hope they don't hurt her.  :(

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

6:30am:  How can people tell what company would be good to work for?  There are all kinds of surveys, indexes, recruiting messages, Diversity initiatives - how does anyone know what's true and what's not?  I don't know if there's a way to truly know as experiences will vary within large companies.  But at the same time, where can you start?

An article came out on Fortune.com ranking the 50 Best Big Companies to work for.  I'm used to working at large companies and I found reading this interesting.  This list has some surprises.  I actually am working at one of the companies in the Top 10 on this list (contract work, not as an Employee).  A significant number of the people I know there have been at the company for well over 20 years which certainly says something.

One project I'm trying to work in the background is to identify which companies have diversity hiring that might provide a contact at the company.  It's easier to get a foothold at a company, no matter how wonderful your resume, if you can actually speak to someone rather than having to apply online and never hearing anything. Anyway, if you've had good experiences in that regard please feel free to forward the information about the company and the contact so I can follow-up.

This past weekend there were 3 road-rage shooting incidents around the Valley.  There was another on Monday where a couple of people got stabbed.  A news report indicates that Phoenix has the 2nd most road rage incidents in the country and that doesn't surprise me - drivers around here are nuts.  It's one thing to be an aggressive driver but a whole other thing to turn a driving incident into violence.  As I consider my long-term prospects and where I want to live as I get older things like that make a difference.

Speaking of driving I wrote something about Danica Patrick, who became the first woman to win an IndyCar event over the weekend, on the DonnaBlog.

The puppy seems to be getting used to being here although she hasn't eaten in a couple of days.  She has been decidedly NOT happy about me leaving her in the large crate when I go to work and I suppose I can't blame her.  I have been doing short days there so far this week so she doesn't have to be in it for too too long but when it's a 45 mile drive each way that certainly adds time and hassle.  She hasn't had a "boo boo" in the house since Sunday so we've been fortunate in that regard, and I'm taking her to the vet for a check-up tomorrow.  She likes to lay on the cool tile in the kitchen and the hallways and at one point she wanted to stay on it last night.  I woke up and searched the house looking for her.  I found her curled up on my pile of dirty laundry - so cute.
 

Monday, April 21, 2008

10:30pm:  Tomorrow HRC will announce the release of it's new publication, "Transgender Inclusion In the Workplace, 2nd Edition" (see it here).  I'd say it's really version 1 of this, replacing a publication called "Transgender Issues In the Workplace: A Tool For Managers" that was released in 2004 (I have a couple hundred copies of these in my garage and am happy to send to anyone who needs some).  The old document was significantly shorter and was far more aimed at facilitating workplace transitions.  This publication is much more substantive and comprehensive.

Noted trans workplace advocates are already commenting on it (see Jillian Weiss's remarks here).  I don't know that I have anything more to add.

The one thing I'll be interested to see is how effective HRC is at getting this out there, and the broader reception it gets.  It's the first Trans specific publication/tool since ENDA and the fact that it's workplace-related makes it doubly compelling.  I have no criticisms on content, intent, timing, or format although I'm sure others will find something to complain about.  Daryl, Samir, and the rest of the Workplace Team did their usual excellent work.  But the question of the day isn't about what's between the covers.  The Spectre of ENDA begs the question "How does an organization that was the lone voice for transgender exclusion in ENDA release a publication making a business case for transgender inclusion?"  I hope it's a non-issue - I really do, because corporate America still needs good tools on Transgender issues.  But I can't see how they can escape the obvious questions.

Tomorrow is the Democratic Primary in Pennsylvania.  Most agree that Hillary will win, although I for one made a friendly wager today to the contrary.  The question seems to be whether it will be a single-digit win or more than that.  I guess we'll know by this time tomorrow.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

9:30pm:  It's relatively early but I'm heading to bed.  That's one of the good things about having this puppy.  My 1am nights are a thing of the past.  I expect that I'll be getting to bed at a far more reasonable time.

I posted a nice photo of the Mag-ster on my "other" blog.  It's hard to get good pictures of her because when she sees me get down so I'm eye-level she figures I must be ready to play and comes running over.  One of the things I find interesting already is watching her sleep, and her little feet are moving and ears are twitching.  What on earth does a newborn puppy dream it's chasing? 

I spent almost 3 hours over at my ex-wife's house today.  She gave me a crate that we used for Molly that we had stored up in the attic.  Apparently, nobody had been in the attic since I left the house 9 years ago and she wanted my help getting the stuff out of there.  So we spent the better part of the afternoon going through all our stuff that was in the attic.  Her wedding dress was there.  Old receipts and empty boxes were there.  Books. binders, records, calendars, and all kinds of stuff was there.  Anyway, it was actually sort of nostalgic and was the most civil we've been to one another in a long time.  The magical powers of puppies cannot be under-estimated.  Of course, Maggie slept most of the afternoon away but that's ok. 

I got stopped twice at PetSmart and once at the gas station by people who saw Maggie and wanted to chat.  I'm telling you - if you want to meet people carry a puppy around with you.  It's a great ice breaker.  :)

7:00am:   I'm not sure what the first night of a new puppy, taken from its family and brought to new surroundings, is supposed to be like or even if there is a typical "first night".   I remember pups I've had that have cried through the night, others who were restless to the point they couldn't sleep, and still others who seemed to take it all in stride.  Maggie had a very nice first day - we even went over to a friend's house who has 2 Yorkies and Maggie had a great time.  All the excitement and change caught up with her sometime during the night, tho.

She slept in the bed with me and at some point around 3am I woke to an interesting aroma in the bedroom.  Poor Mags has some tummy "issues" and had left me a couple of little presents on the comforter.  Yuk.  Anyway, I cleaned them up, used Lysol on everything, took her out back for a little while, and the rest of the night passed fine.  She still has an upset little tummy and hasn't eaten anything yet today.  I'll be glad when she does.

I don't want this Blog to turn into the trials and tribulations of raising a puppy but I expect that I'll use it for some of that.  It's a healthy distraction.  The big event later today is that we'll be heading over to visit my ex-.  That should be interesting.  I'm actually looking forward to it.

I realized I have several photos from events I've attended recently: The CA Leadership Summit, the GLAAD Awards in NYC, IFGE.  I'll be uploading a bunch of them to share online later today.
 

Saturday, April 19, 2008

5:00pm:   Maggie has had quite the day, and is curled up by my feet under the desk.  She's been sleeping for almost 2 hours - I'm sure the excitement of everything was a drain.

Maggie just turned 8 weeks old, and has only had her first series of vaccinations so I'll need to make arrangements for the rest of them.  She has been remarkably good and only seemed sad for a short while in the car before curling up on my lap as if nesting.  She has been inquisitive here at the house and the good news is that there have been no "mistakes" on the carpet yet.  At least, none I know of.

Her coloring is as striking as her personality - I've attached 3 pics I took earlier today.  They should provide an idea of how small she is....

Anyway, she's awake now so we're going out back on the "lawn" to play.  More later.

Friday, April 18, 2008

9:00pm:   I had an interesting dream last night.  Lately I generally don't remember my dreams much past my second cup of coffee but I remember this one pretty well.  I don't feel compelled to share the dream other than to say I don't know what relevance it has, if any, on my non-dream life. 

Dreams are pretty amazing things.  They reflect our self-image of ourselves, hidden fears or needs, and any number of other interesting elements that we're often able to suppress in our conscious world.  For example, for most of my life when I dreamed I saw myself as a guy.  Usually we don't stop and ask ourselves what gender we are in our dreams because we assume that our dream self is the same as our physical self.  For the longest time whenever I'd dream of myself as female there was a corresponding sense of dread that someone would figure me out.  I remember the first time I dreamed of myself as Donna - not as David trying to be Donna - but just as Donna.  I couldn't wait to see my psych to share this amazing news.  It was big deal for me as it represented a sort of change in how I perceived myself - both consciously AND subconsciously.

I also remember when I started dreaming in color - shortly after starting estrogen.  My ex-wife would always explain these elaborate, colorful dreams that she had and I always assumed that she was making them up as she went.  It wasn't until after going on estrogen that my own dreams became much more vivid and real to me.  To be fair - everything became much more vivid for me after starting estrogen.  But the impact of the dreams on me increased significantly for quite a while.  It was a generally overwhelming time - both when I was awake and when I was asleep.

I go to pick up little Maggie the puppy tomorrow around noon.  Somehow it reminds me of when my ex- and I took our son home from the hospital and as we tucked him into his bed for the first time the realization hit home that this little, innocent life depended on us.  Anyway, I'll post photos when I get her here and settled.  We've got a busy day tomorrow.

I wrote about some upcoming Trans workplace stuff from HRC on my "other" blog.  I'm still on track to combine the two into a single effort - I'm expecting to do that at the end of this month.  I envision that it will be a pretty seamless transition but we'll see how it goes.

I'll share a few recent photos.  The top row is from the California Transgender Leadership Summit in Berkeley last month, and the bottom photo is from a lunchtime talk at IFGE a couple of weeks ago.

Jamison Green and I discussing last minute Closing Plenary details	Springtime shot of the Bay Bridge and the San Francisco skyline from Treasure Island

Lastly, I have a friend blogger who disappointed me today by blogging irresponsibly.  I don't know if there truly is such a thing, but things like credibility and respect need to exist out here as more than conveniences that we use when it suits us.  Lord knows I have opinions on things and I'm not shy about sharing them here but I try to avoid petty sneak attacks like the one I saw today.  I won't go into more detail because it doesn't deserve the visibility.  If anything, it deserves an apology.  
 

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

10:00pm:   I did something Monday night that I haven't done for a long time.  I mowed.  There's a small patch of grass in my back yard that thinks it's a lawn.  It feels odd complain that I had to mow it because it had gotten too long but to then admit that it was looking sad a couple of weeks ago so I fertilized it.  I guess the fertilizer "took".   What do I get for my efforts?  Long, thick, green grass that needs to be mowed.  I even had to borrow the lawn mower from my friend Laura.  I'm so unprepared for this...

As I mowed I was having flashbacks.  I remember going house to house as a pre-teen in the late 1960's asking if I could cut people's lawn for $5 (I'd trim it for another $5).  I remember using my mom's always dull push mower to do our lawn and collecting all the clippings to put in my mom's compost heap behind the garage (she's a gardener).  When we lived in Rochester our property covered nearly an acre so I did what any self-respecting lawn lover would do.  I got a riding lawn mower.  I can't help but to smile at all the times I've mowed and the number of times I expected that it would be my last time.  I didn't get that feeling Monday night.

The grass here isn't the same as the grass back home in upstate NY.  It's not beautiful, lush, Kentucky Bluegrass that invites you to lie down and roll in it.  It's Bermuda grass - the texture is far more coarse so I suppose it's just perfect for the desert.  The good news is that it still smells good when it's freshly cut.  And, it'll be good for Maggie.

The reason I mention it at all is that I woke up this morning and I have bug bites on my arms.  I have 5 of them on my right arm, and 3 down by my left wrist.  We don't get mosquitoes much here in the desert but I'm hoping I somehow got bit in the 15 minutes it took me to mow.  The only other explanation is that I got bitten last night while I was sleeping.  I'll admit that the thought of bugs crawling on me and biting me while I'm asleep creeps me out a little.

Reports from NCTE Lobby Day are coming out slowly but surely.  There was a long article in the Washington Blade about it.  There are quite a few photos from the reception at the Washington Press Club there, too.  Diana from CT has already blogged about her lobbying experience (read it here).  I expect that there will be more.  I've heard unsubstantiated rumors that I don't believe ("Believe nothing of what you hear....") and attribute that more to misunderstanding than misinformation.

The most important part of the Blade article, I thought, was the sub-headline for the story.  "Visitors from 29 states ask lawmakers to oppose gay-only ENDA".  If accurate, this is a big deal.  Last year we Lobbied about why lawmakers should support a fully-inclusive ENDA.  From the sound of things, this year that was happening too.  But at the same time, lawmakers were being urged to oppose anything less.  I'm told that the mood was upbeat and positive which is a very good sign.  I must admit I was curious what the overall tenor would be like.

A significant event from this week (that I feel has gone under-reported) is the departure of Matt Foreman as Executive Director of the Gay and Lesbian Task Force (details here).  The Task Force is the second largest national GLBT advocacy organization (after you-know-who) and, in my opinion, is well poised to pick up significant ground on it's bigger, less scrupulous cousin.  The Task Force is a much more grass-roots kind of organization whose concerns aren't strictly limited to GLBT concerns.  They recognize the inter-dependency of many of our social woes and often stray way outside the GLBT safe-zone.  I really respect Matt and the Task Force for that.  They've taken heat for it by those who can't see the connection but they haven't been timid about speaking up for higher ideals for ALL. 

Matt's voice was often the principal voice for United ENDA and the Task Force has been steadfast in their support for ONLY fully-inclusive legislation.  They are the Ying to the HRC Yang.  As a result, because of the pivotal point in time and the pivotal role they play the choice of their next Executive Director has much broader impacts than many might realize.  I've said for quite a while now that the biggest shortcoming of Joe S. at the helm of HRC at this point in time is that the broader community truly needed an inspirational leader of extreme moral character who could unite and inspire trust.  Joe has undeniably proven himself to be an effective (and ruthless) lobbyist but few people I know would use the words "inspirational", "moral character", "unite", or "trust" in the same sentence as Mr. Joe.  I'm probably not saying anything more than the obvious, but it's just not there.

As most have probably noticed an organization tends to take on the personality of its leadership.  I'll just leave it at that....

If and when The Task Force finds that leader to take its helm, watch out.  The dynamics of the broader GLBT advocacy landscape will shift.  I only hope it happens sooner rather than later.

Speaking of shifting - I expect that there will be some significant shifting in my own life in the coming weeks.  It's a big adjustment to have to think about someone/something else when you've been on your own for quite a while.  Bringing another life into your own forces you to stop to consider other things before making decisions.  I'm just at the front end of that, but I can already see changes ahead.

Monday, April 14, 2008

9:00pm:   I've got a couple of significant things to share tonight.

The first is that I'm finally starting to use my "other" blog for more than just testing.  I wrote something there today about HRC and the Houston Dinner from this past weekend that I think is worth reading (I posted an updated version of it on Bilerico).  And, I did a post there yesterday titled "Puppy Love".  In it there's a photo of a couple of young Australian Shepherd pups.  I stopped out to visit them today and adopted the one on the left (the light one) - I actually bring her home his weekend. (see my other blog). 

Who do you think the first person I called when I got in the car to drive home?  My ex-wife.  We talked for over an hour and even agreed on a name (we have a thing for M names - Molly, Murphy).  I think we've agreed that she looks like a Maggie, and I'm even going to bring her over there on Sunday to visit.  That's an unexpected turn - puppies have some unexplainable magical power or something.  Bringing an 8-week old puppy into my life is a big, big deal and will lead to some needed restructuring and re-prioritizing.  Mark my words.

BTW - I updated my Upcoming Events page to reflect my calendar for the rest of the year.  I'll try to keep it updated and current.

I have allowed the wave of response to pregnant trans-man Thomas Beatie to rise and fall without much comment.  There has been the nasty garbage that you'd expect as well as some supportive, positive stuff.  The Beaties have been mercifully quiet and unavailable which has given things some time to quiet down. 

There was an article in yesterday's Boston Globe by a conservative columnist named Jeff Jacobey titled "Pregnant, yes - but not a man".  In it you'll find the same tired misuse of pronouns, attacks on Mr. Beatie's gender, reminders that Gender Identity Disorder is listed in the DSMIV, and comparisons to polygamist sex and incest that we've come to expect.  He doesn't leave many stones unturned.

I have no problem with Mr. Jacobey sharing his opinions with the world other than to lament the fact that we don't all have platforms like the Boston Globe from which to send our message. The good news is that it doesn't really matter what he thinks, whether he accepts Thomas Beatie as a man or not, or even that he's got an opinion on the subject at all.  He doesn't get to make those decisions or to define who or what any of us are. No matter how loud he screams or how many cliches he adds nothing that he says or does will change that.  I personally take great joy in celebrating my trans-ness to people like him and I feel no need whatsoever to argue with them.  Sometimes, a simple little "ki$$ my a$$" smile is all it takes.

To all the NCTE Lobby Day participants who will be heading to Capitol Hill tomorrow - best of luck to you.  Thousands of us who wish we could there are with you in spirit.  If you feel like sharing your Lobby Day experience feel free to sent it along.  I'm happy to post whatever I get here.

One last thing.  When I was at IFGE a little over a week go I used one of the computers in the lobby (the one closest to the front desk).  I have a little USB drive that I carry in my purse that had a document that I needed so I put it into the USB slot on the back of the computer.  Needless to say, I forgot it.  I've called the hotel about it and they transferred me to lost and found but so far - nothing.  If you live in Tucson and ever travel near the Doubletree I'd be interested to know whether it's sill in the back of the computer or not (It's a Cruizer Mini).  There's some stuff on there that I'd rather not lose...
 

Sunday, April 13, 2008

8:30am:   I expect I'll have another entry later but may as well start the day by saying a couple of things so I don't forget.

Obviously, I'm not in Washington DC at the moment.  NCTE Lobby Days happen tomorrow and Tuesday and despite my best intentions I just can't get away from work to be there.  I've got major stakeholders from NYC coming to town this week and have critical meetings that it would be very difficult for me to miss. It seems self-defeating to come to Washington to lobby against transgender workplace discrimination and to lose my job in the process - there's a balance there and this is one of those times when I don't get to do what I want.  The thing I can provide most is moral support, so for those who will be participating know that I'm there with you in spirit.  If anyone who is there wants to send me updates on how things go and their thoughts I'd be appy to post them here.

NCTE is hosting a reception to honor the 6 members of Congress who are with us, and who voted against the non-inclusive ENDA specifically because it wasn't inclusive.  These heroes were punished for this by receiving a negative score on HRC's Congressional Scorecard.

The fact that there were mounted police at the HRC protest in Houston last night is already getting quite a bit of attention. I can't wait to see some photos of this - I hope someone took some.  I'd also like to hear how many of the local politicos attended (and conversely, how many did not).

Upcoming HRC Dinners - in the next few weeks - for those who are interested:

Most cities in this country hold their PRIDE celebrations in June.  Here in Phoenix it gets too hot in June to have people outdoors like that so we hold ours early.  It's going on this weekend.  Yesterday, they held the PRIDE Parade through downtown Phoenix.  One of the grand-marshals this year is Regina Wells, a local trans-woman who started a halfway house for homeless transgender women.  For those who are interested, there are pics of yesterday's festivities in the local paper today (see a slideshow here).  As usual, it looks very colorful.

It may come as a surprise to some but most trans-people in my experience don't have much (as in - none) interest in PRIDE events.  We always see drag-queens as part of the overall "scene" but most of the people that I know who self-identify as trans wouldn't cross the street to visit a PRIDE.  Many of us don't feel comfortable there for one reason or another.  Some don't feel welcome.  Some don't feel any affinity whatsoever with what happens there.  And many are just plain uncomfortable in that kind of a scene.  I get that.  Part of the fallacy of "GLBT" is that we all have some kind of shared queer background when, in fact, most of the trans-people I know have absolutely zero. Many are raised in a straight world so suddenly being thrust into a queer one can have any number of implications.  I was no naive about this stuff that I had no clue as to what a rainbow flag meant until I went to San Francisco for my FFS and was strolling around the Castro.  I have attended several PRIDEs around the country and particularly enjoyed Atlanta and Austin.  

I need to go and finish my taxes.  Safe travels to all who are going to Washington DC for Lobby Day.

11:00am:   Phyllis sent some photos from the HRC Dinner protest in Houston from last evening.  Somehow, as I look at all this ill-advised overkill aimed at transgender people who remain justifiably angry about HRC's actions around ENDA last fall, and at the ongoing disrespect we face at the highest levels of the organization, one phrase pops into my mind: Don't taze me, Bro!

Crowd Barricades

Mounted Police

Protester

Protester

Thank God I'm not a tax-payer in Houston.  I can't imagine having to pay for this.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

9:30pm:   As I typed the date at the beginning of this entry I realized that tomorrow is my ex-wife's birthday.  That normally wouldn't spark much interest any more except for the fact that she surprised me by calling me on my birthday to give good wishes.  I'll do the same for her tomorrow.

I had one of these deep discussions with a friend at the IFGE Conference in Tucson last week about love.  She believes that love doesn't end - that once it's there it endures.  I, on the other hand, don't believe that for a second.  Love is like a plant - when it's nurtured it thrives, when it's neglected and kept in darkness it dies.  There was a time when I had far more romantic notions about the endurance of love, commitment, and the entire notion of "soul-mates".  I've explained before that life experience has replaced them with more realistic and manageable expectations.  That said, however, I hope to meet someone somewhere someday who renews my faith in some of those things....

One thing I'll be writing about shortly are some of the life skills that I have found have been helpful for me while navigating the sometimes difficult waters of finding inner peace as a transgender person.  We tend to focus on things specifically dealing with the gender aspects but other things: anger management, discipline, dealing with fear, being able to go with the flow, self-awareness - they're all critical for getting through difficult times in general and coming to terms with being transgender certainly applies in that regard.  Sometimes it's important to brush up on life skills in order to face life challenges.

I was sitting in the restaurant at the Doubletree in Tucson having breakfast with Marti Abernathy last Sunday and someone approached the table to chat.  I don't remember the specifics of the conversation other than she told me how happy she was to wake up each morning as her authentic self and she liked to start her day by listening to a song that symbolized her happiness.  I was truly happy for her, and told her that I often start my my morning with music, too.  But the morning music that tends to fill my car as I drive across the Valley is generally harsher and darker than that.  I explained her one of my favorite early-morning make-yer-ears-bleed tunes is "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit.  She had never heard of it but Marti obviously had.  (watch the video for it here).  Sometimes, it just fits.

Speaking of IFGE, one thing in particular that struck me this year were the number of supportive spouses and significant others there.  I can't even imagine a world where my ex-wife would have been supportive in any way, shape, or form - much less go to one of these conferences.  But every year we're seeing more and more people who share this journey and who learn about their own selves in the process.  It fills me with hope that more of us can avoid the pain of losing loving, committed relationships to people who never even gave us a chance.  Congratulations and thanks to all the amazing couples and families there.

My dear friends at Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA) have launched a fund-raising drive.  TYFA works with trans youth and their families and recent visibility has stretched them to the limit.  They need $$$ to continue to do what they do so well, and the work they're doing is so so important. The minimum donation is only $15.  In my way of thinking if most of the 1,000 or so people who visit here every day can donate $15 to a specific worthy, under-funded, cause every couple of months we can turn into quite the army of philanthropists.  The link to donate to TYFA is here.  They've already raised a little over $1,000 so far.  Let's see if we can't help push them over the $5,000 mark by the time it ends on April 20. Thanks for helping.

Phyllis Frye has already sent an update on the protest at the HRC Dinner in Houston tonight.  It reads as follows:

Oy.  I expect there will be more on this in coming days.  Friends from Austin, Killeen, and up near Dallas traveled to Houston to participate. 

Changing gears - I got quite a bit accomplished today.  I'm almost caught up on email which is a miracle considering how far behind I was.  My car got new brakes.  I ran 5 miles.  I met with someone teetering at the front end of her transition for coffee.  I did a shopping and spent an hour browsing shoes at DSW. I had a nice low carb dinner and spent some time tinkering on my "other" blog (it's coming along - still need to be able to upload photos before I flip the switch).   Those are the mundane things that make a peaceful Saturday. 

I'll close tonight by sharing something I saw on my run today.  There was a family of ducks in one of the small ponds outside a bank.  I couldn't help but stop and take a picture.  I may not believe in endless love, and I may listen to some edgy music from time to time, but I'm still a romantic at heart (and I'm a sucker for fuzzy little ducklings!)....

Friday, April 11, 2008

6:30am:   The first thing that popped into my fuzzy brain when I woke up this morning is that it's Friday - almost the weekend - and I'm in the comfort of my own bed for a change.  What a concept!  So, as I sip my first cup of morning coffee I have a couple of thoughts to share.

The first is to add something to Mr. Joe's statement that he underestimated the level of pain that their ENDA decision would cause.  Even if you can believe that, has anyone seen anything resembling compassion or contrition from Joe or the organization at any time since last fall?  The appropriate response for causing that kind of pain should have been to offer a public apology to the entire GLBT community for being the source of that pain, acknowledging that promises were broken and that many in the family are feeling angry and betrayed.  To me that's a no-brainer (plus, it's just good manners), especially for a group that considers itself a "Human Rights" organization.  These kinds of organizations have an extra core responsibility to be (or at least, to appear) Compassionate to people it wants to believe are part of its family.  Unfortunately, the organization's compassion is in the same place that it's integrity, its credibility, its relevance, and its right to speak in any way, shape, or form on trans issues is.  It's gone.  They call the police on people who are upset about it and who want to have a voice.  Who's responsible for that?  Leadership.  Joe is.  In the interview Joe recognizes that the way to begin the healing isn't through words, but through action.  I'm stating the obvious here, but this isn't the kind of action that will achieve that.

So, if you distill all those words down into a short single sentence it would read something like: "We didn't realize the level of hurt that our ENDA decision would cause but we stand by it and, in fact, will do it again."  The rest is just window dressing.

I've said in the past that I won't focus on negatives and I meant it.  So, here's a positive suggestion.  HRC can convene something it could call "ENDA Together" or something similar and actually try to engage transgender leaders to be part of the process.  They could actually engage transgender communities at the steering committee level to proactively develop educational opportunities so they don't have to call the police to keep us away.  They could be more forthcoming in working as a collaborative partner rather than dictating to us what they'll allow or do. There has been no effort to engage as equals, and everything that happens is suspect because it's done behind a veil of secrecy.  I've suggested many of these things before and nothing has happened.  So, when Joe says that healing will come through actions not through words I'm wondering specifically what actions he's talking about.  The non-actions so far speak volumes.

Autumn Sundeen wrote an entry on Pam's House Blend titled "Which Democratic Candidate Would Fight Harder for a Trans-Inclusive ENDA?"  Based on recent statements, she concludes that neither would.  I agree.  That's not to say that both wouldn't prefer it, but neither is willing to put the weight of their office behind it.  That doesn't dull my commitment or my confidence that the right thing will happen, or diminish my efforts to help get us there.  As with my transition, I've learned that the things you appreciate most in life are the things you have to work hardest to achieve.  I'm fully confident that a fully-inclusive ENDA will be one of those things, and it will be a lasting legacy to future generations of us that speaks as much about value and self-worth as it does about employment discrimination. 

Lastly, I got an email yesterday from Dr. Jillian Weiss who many of us know and respect for her wonderful workplace leadership.  It says:

Contact her if you want more information.  Her email is jweiss@ramapo.edu

I need to get the day going.  Happy Friday to all....

Thursday, April 10, 2008

10:00pm:   Michigan is in the spotlight tonight for a couple of reasons:

• By a vote of 8-1, the Detroit City Council voted to amend the city's non-discrimination ordinance to cover transgender people.  It already covered lesbians and gays. One news article states that the Detroit-based Triangle Foundation "worked for 17 years to get an all inclusive ordinance" (read it here).  Bravo to Detroit and those who worked so long and hard to make this happen.

• The local GLBT paper in Detroit is "Between the Lines".  HRC prez Joe Solmonese recently sat down for a "wide ranging 45 minute interview" with a reporter there.  The end result is an article titled "HRC leader stands by non-inclusive ENDA decision".   There's very little new there except for the fact that I get the exact same disgusted feeling hearing Joe say he was surprised at the level of pain their wrong-headed ENDA decision caused that I felt when Thomas Beatie said he had no idea that the pregnant-man story would cause such a fuss.  Both chose not to heed people who passionately warned them of the implications, and both excuses are equally implausible and unacceptable.

Speaking of HRC, their Houston gala happens this weekend.  Houston is home to Phyllis Frye, and if there's anyone who's frustration with HRC exceeds my own it's Phyllis.  She has been planning a protest event at the dinner for weeks.  If you could see behind the scenes you'd see an operation that looks almost like a SWAT assessment of entrances, access points, command centers, and opportunities.  She's not shy about sharing it all, either, and a recent Phyllibuster email went out with all the details.  Apparently, someone in HRC Central wasn't happy about it and called the Houston Police who paid a visit to Ms. Frye.  Monica Roberts explains in detail on Bilerico.

Earlier this week some of the local trans community approached 2 Board Members in Houston hoping to set up an educational initiative similar to the one that was so successfully done in Austin earlier this year.  They were told that if HRC allows them to do that then they'll have to do it for other groups who might ask, as well.  You guessed it - they were denied.

I'm wondering if the soon-to-be-hired Transgender Diversity person could or would have been able to help them avert these two blunders.

One other topic...

There was a story on NPR today about the transgender talk-show host in India (read/hear it here).  When do you think we'll have something similar in this country.  In our lifetime?

With that - it's time for bed.
 

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

11:30pm:   As I have mentioned in the past, as a GLAAD Board Member I receive an email every day to something called The Interface that is  vault of GLBT news/opinion/media from around the country.  One particular story from yesterday that begs discussion was a multimedia segment from The View on Thomas Beatie, the pregnant trans man.

Barbara Walters indicates that she spoke with the couple over the weekend and, as she says, "they have some fears, to say the least."  But the rest of what she says he says couldn't be more false and stinks of self-indulgent hypocracy. 

"I found them very sweet and naive" Barbara says.  "They had no idea that this was going to cause a stir.....He thought that this would help people understand.  They don't see anything strange about this."  Does anyone anywhere believe this?  Even for a second??  They knew all too well the ruckus that this would cause and, in fact, did what they could to orchestrate it.  Understand this well - during the weeks before the initial interview in the Advocate every major GLBT group in this country tried to talk him out of going pubic with this because everyone knew where this was going to go.  That effort is a story in and of itself and the lengths to which these efforts went are truly remarkable.  The Beaties didn't want to hear any of it and had their mind set from the beginning. 

Barbara continues: "What they are worried about now is the legal ramifications.  Are they legally married?   The greatest threat to them is that their marriage could be taken away - they never thought that would be a possibility.  Could the IRS come after them?  They filed joint returns - if their marriage is dissolved what happens to that?   What about their life insurance, inheritance, all these different things.  What's going to be on the birth certificate when the baby is born?  "  When one of the other hosts questions "Shouldn't they have thought about these things before they got pregnant?"  Barbara responds - "None of this occurred to them." 

Bullsh*t it didn't.  Every single one of these things, and more, was explained to them in painstaking detail.  They just didn't want to hear it, or believe that it could actually happen.  To feign ignorance at this point strips any sense of (a) credibility and (b) sympathy that they may at one time had and is an insult to people who may now find themselves affected by this mess.  I completely support their right to get pregnant in non-traditional ways.  I even support their right to make their story public.  What I can't find a way to support is crass commercialism masquerading as more virtuous motivation, and lies served as feigned ignorance over the the ramifications.  The key concept here, as it is throughout much of my writing , is accountability.  What a mess.

My fellow Bilerico contributor Marti shared her IFGE experience online today (read it here).

My big-sister, Kate, called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me about a movie that she had just seen on the Sundance Channel called "Red Without Blue".  It's sort of a documentary about a couple of twin boys and at one point one of them decides to transition (see the IMDB entry here).  She thought is was very well done.  Anyway, the entire movie is available online for those who have a little time on their hands (70 minutes).  Watch the movie here.  It's worth watching.

Speaking of watching - I've been surfing on YouTube a little and there are some interesting, fun videos.  Somehow, I always end up veering towards music.  Anyway - here are a few I came across in 10 minutes of looking:

• My Transgender Voice - she's got great facial expressions (and a great voice!)

• Donna Rose (does this gentleman know me?)

• Am I The Only One? part of a wonderful acoustic series by Barenaked Ladies frontman Ed Robertson

• Francine Does Eyes - fun stuff (good music, too!)

• Beautiful - Always makes me misty.

This stuff can be addicting.  Good thing I'm heading off to bed.
 

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

11:30pm:   I don't know why I'm still up - I should have been in bed an hour ago.  I went out with a group of other women from work for Happy Hour and didn't get home until 9 which makes for a long day.  Somehow I usually need a bit of a "wind-down" period after I get home so that's what this is.

The day had a wonderful beginning.  I left the house fairly early to drop a friend who has been visiting off at the airport, and stopped for breakfast and one of my favorite little places in Scottsdale.  I bumped into someone from Dr. Meltzer's office who I haven't seen in quite a while there and enjoyed catching up with her over coffee and an omelet before heading to Scottsdale Community College for my 9am talk there.  The talk went fine and I was at work for my noon meeting.  The rest of the day just seemed to flow, as well.

I've been seriously investigating replacing this trusty "do-it-yourself" blog with a more formal blog for quite some time now, as I've discussed in the past.  Although I get close to actually making it happen and even started what I consider a testing period I find I'm not familiar enough with the tools to overcome what I perceive as limitations to make the final cut-over so I never actually do it.  So, I'm still on this home-grown thing with which I've become comfortable, but that in many ways needs to retire.  The bottom line is that the move to DonnaBlog 2.0 is nearly at hand.  At least I think it is....

Since returning from IFGE I've installed a blog package on DonnaRose.com.  It was a relatively painless process the new Blog page is up and running in the background.  The next step is to choose a "theme" for it from one of the thousands available.  That has proven to be time-consuming as there are several that appeal to me and would work but I haven't found one that has everything I'd like yet.  One of the keys for me is to keep it simple - I don't like blog pages that are cluttered with too much stuff.  The minimalist in me stresses the fact that most of the blog page needs to be available to for content and fancy graphics, fonts, or other fluffery are more of a distraction than an asset.

I'll be testing various themes over the next few days so if you want to get a preview what I'm looking at feel free to visit it: www.donnarose.com/MyBlog.  My friend Marti knows about these things and has been very patient and helpful in explaining some of the more technical aspects and answering my questions so I expect she'll be hearing from me later today.  I hope to make the decisions that need to be made by the beginning of next week and on the new platform by then.

Before leaving I do want to say something about this transgender Diversity position that HRC is interviewing for.  I've had several people email me to ask my opinion.  Honestly and truly - I have no opinion other than to be careful.  I can see any number of reasons that it would be a good thing just as I can see any number of reasons that it won't.  I'm probably not a good person to ask because I continue to have strong emotional feelings about what happened, both to me personally as well as to our broader community, last fall.  I do my best to control them but to be perfectly honest very little, if anything, has happened since then to change them.  Time has certainly not dulled them.  I've just gotten better at being quiet about it.

This position has been in the works for a couple of years and there was a time when I would have been tremendously excited about the potential it provides.  Although it is still very much needed across the broader scope of Foundation programs any excitement about it has been drained for me.  Everything the organization does with regards to transgender work has been tainted in the mind of the broader community.  Any shred of credibility is gone, so the first thing that always comes to mind is to wonder what ulterior motive is at play, or when the next pivotal decision point will unmask it all for what it is.  I'm a positive person and wish I could offer a brighter perspective, but I'm not the one who caused all this.

In my resignation letter I stated that "Principle is not for compromise".  I believe that to my core.  I continue to hold the organization accountable for its actions and the word "immoral" has come from my lips more than once.  There are people I know, some of whom I consider dear friends, who have found a way around that and that's for them to reconcile with themselves.  I'm comfortable with the path I'm on right now and until something changes I'll stay on it.  I have effectively rendered HRC to be irrelevant in my world, finding other collaborative dance partners with whom to work on the efforts we all hold dear.  A significant learning from last fall is that there is a significant un-balance of power across the GLBT advocacy landscape so anything I can do to raise others in that equation is healthy.  My own personal strategy in that regard is to raise others up rather than to tear HRC down.  They don't need my help to do that.  They can do it themselves just fine.

Back to the question of his particular position - they're already on the second round of interviews.  If you're interested and pursuing this, good luck.  I can't say enough nice things about the folks in the Diversity organization.  All I can offer to you is (a) if you don't have thick skin, grow some because you'll need it and (b) be careful what you ask for. 
 

 Monday, April 7, 2008

10:30pm:   I'm in the process of resuming my efforts to move my blog to a more conventional blog platform.  I've grown comfortable using the rudimentary tools at my disposal here but it's time to make the move.  I've got a couple of options and expect to do this sometime in the next week or so.  Stay tuned.

One of the local Tucson television stations did a report from IFGE last week:

I'm giving a talk for a class at Scottsdale Community College tomorrow.  I did it a couple of years ago and enjoyed it.  The professor saw an article about me in the local paper and tracked me down.
 

Sunday, April 6, 2008

10:30pm:   I did something this afternoon that I haven't done in I-don't-know-how-long.  I took a nap.  I got home from IFGE in Tucson (only 100 miles away) sat down, realized how tired I was, and crawled into bed for a couple of hours.  It was wonderful; apparently I was more tired than I realized.

I met some wonderful people at the conference.  Some I've spoken with online.  Others I was just fortunate enough to bump into, or came up to me to introduce themselves.  It makes me think back to how many of the people I consider dear friends at this stage of my life I first met at conferences like these.  In addition to making new friends it's gratifying to see how far people I've met in previous years have come in their own journeys.  We often talk about community.  In a very real sense, in a way it's about family.

One thing happened in particular at this conference that I feel compelled to comment about.  During lunch on Saturday a number of individual awards called the Trinity Awards.  IFGE identifies their Trinity Awards as honoring the transgender community’s heroes and heroines, people who have performed extraordinary acts of courage and love.  I was humbled to be given a Trinity Award at IFGE last year.

One of the winners this year is a personal friend who I respect and admire for 20+ years of dedicated service to the community.  Her comments, however, seem to represent the thinking of an older time and, in fact, landed with a resounding thud (that's an understatement) on the assembled 300+ people attending the lunchtime ceremony.  The initial thrust of her words were that transgender people need to integrate into broader society - something I think most of us can agree with to varying degrees.  But when she said that trans-men needed to put on suits and join the local Rotary and the Lion Club, and trans-women needed to look and behave like women so they could join women's groups like the National Organization of Women, there was an audible groan - me included.

A message of conforming to stereotypes is something that, perhaps, at one time made sense.  Transgender people faded into society out of necessity.  However, we've matured and our perceptions of ourselves and the broader ideals at play have changed.  The message of today has evolved from simply being about gender to a broader one of freedom  and about self.  It is about breaking free from binaries and stereotypes to simply be whoever you are.  To judge anyone as not being, looking, or acting appropriately "manly" or "womanly" enough based on someone's arbitrary standard of gender would be to stoop to the same stale stereotypes so many of us work so hard to break. 

This Trinity Award winner deserves thanks and respect for all she has achieved.  She announced "retirement" from activism to pursue more personal goals - something I think we all aspire to do at some point.  I wish her the best in that. 

All in all, my conference experience was an enjoyable one.  The weather was as close to perfect as you can get.  The hotel was very nice - quiet, comfortable beds, beautiful grounds, friendly staff.  The presenters and topics were diverse.  A number of people who came for the conference extended their stays to visit the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Oak Creek Canyon, Prescott, and any number of the places and sights we enjoy here.  I had more than one person comment that they hope IFGE returns here sometime soon.  Apparently, it's scheduled to be in Washington DC (or, more accurately - Alexandria, VA) over the next couple of years but I'd love to see an opportunity for a late winter/early spring event here in Arizona.  Perhaps that's something worth seriously thinking about.

One new friend posted something on her blog about the event.  More specifically, it was about me at the conference (read it here).  Her kind words are certainly appreciated and I can't help but smile about all the events of the past few days.  I've been on the Atkins Diet for the past couple of weeks so I'm proud at avoiding the cheese cake, the chocolate cake, and the various other temptations over the past few days (including alcohol, although I generally find these things more fun with a drink or two).  From doing balancing work and conference on Thursday and Friday to the event at Old Tucson Studio to hanging out with friends to going for a run around the park across the street from the hotel - no wonder I needed a nap this afternoon.  :)

Others are already sharing their thoughts of events and experiences here, as well.  For those of us who consider ourselves "veterans" of these kinds of things it's easy to overlook the profound impact that they can and do have on people attending for the first time, and there were lots of first-timers there.  One such glimpse is provided by Jason, an FTM who maintains a blog of his experiences and who attended IFGE on Thursday and Friday (read his thoughts here).  Kudos to Jason for his honesty and his willingness to share.

I'll close by sharing a couple of the photos I was taking when Lori caught up with me by the gardens (as she explained in her blog).  There's always time to slow down to appreciate the beauty of nature - I couldn't let it pass without capturing it.  Welcome to Springtime in the Desert.....

Saturday, April 5, 2008

7:30am:   Remember a few weeks ago when HRC was nominated for a "Pink Brick" Award by the San Francisco Pride Committee?  The Award is awarded annually to people or organizations who have proven themselves to be particularly unfriendly to the GLBT community.    The "winner" of the award was announced last week, and is media loudmouth Bill O'Reilly.  His is consistently ignorant about pretty much everything he talks about, as exemplified by his most recent comments about pregnant trans-man Thomas Beatie - (see it here). MSNBC was particularly ignorant, as well  (see it here).  They're certainly not alone and it's certainly not unexpected but it hasn't been as bad as I expected.  If you really want some fun go to Oprah's website and look at the comments people have posted about the show.  She's got a whole little section dedicated to the show (see it here) so if you missed it and want to see a clip or some photos - that's the place.

The Kansas City city council unanimously voted to expand the city's non-discrimination policy to include transgender people (details here).

The IFGE Conference is going well.  Jamison Green provided the text of his opening keynote (read it here). I'm doing a workshop late this afternoon, and have been asked to be the MC at the dinner this evening.  We'll see how that goes....

Gotta run again.  My electrologist and dear friend, Maria, is presenting a workshop at 9:15 that I wouldn't miss for anything.  :)

Friday, April 4, 2008

4:30pm:   I had a full work-day today.  Somehow, it all came together.  The good news is that I camped myself out on the restaurant veranda where I could enjoy the spring warmth, the fragrant spring air, all of the color, and just generally soak up the day.  Although Fridays are busy work days, the fact I could to most of it outdoors made it almost actually fun.

Now I can concentrate on what's left of the Conference - after I go for a run.

Here are a couple of photos from the conference so far.  The one on the left is from Old Tucson Studios last night (Dr. Michelle Angelo, Monica from Colage, me), and the other is from lunch today (Dr. Christine McGinn and her girlfriend, me, Dr. Angelo).  If you're here and you've seen me over the past couple of days I most likely have been attached to my laptop.  It's time for the weekend to begin!

The downside is that I've been on Atkins since Easter so I'm high protein/very low carbs right now.  That means no alcohol, even though an ice cold Margarita is feeling like it's just what the doctor ordered to cap off the week.  <Sigh>.  Oh well. 

I'll have more stuff later.  I need to get out for my run before it gets too late.

6:30am:   This entry will be short and sweet because I've got to get the day going.

I arrived in Tucson for the 2008 IFGE Conference yesterday morning.  At the opening Plenary yesterday the mayor of Tucson welcomed everyone and warned about rattle snakes and other desert critters that take a vacation in the winter but reappear in the spring.  And, the keynote was delivered by Jamison - all about welcoming diversity in our community - and it was as always - powerful and on target.

I've been balancing my need to stay plugged into things going on at work and things happening here at the conference which doesn't make me happy but it's the reality of the need for balance in my world right now.  Lots is happening there and I need to manage it - it's that simple.  I'm fortunate to be able to do it remotely and it's going well so that's not the problem.  It's just that I wish I could focus my complete attention here.  I expect to be able to do that later today.

I spoke during lunch and talked a bit about corporate work before presenting this year's Diversity Award.  I shared some of the exciting things that are coming up, and I spent a few minutes talking about what happened during ENDA and why it was so important.  Anyway - I thought it went well.

The big event of the evening was a trip to Old Tucson studios in the outskirts of the city for an evening of fun.  It's a complete western town that has been used as a movie set in dozens of movies and has all the things you'd expect from a western park - gunfights, dancing girls, etc.  Amanda Simpson and I had our photo taken in saloon girl attire - it's cute.  I'll share it here if I can scan it.

The talk of the day was that Thomas Beatie appeared on Oprah yesterday.  I've seen parts of it and from everything I've seen and heard Oprah did a pretty good job with it.  I'll write more (a) when I have more time and (b) after I've had a chance to see the entire thing.  My friend Eden called afterwards to share her thoughts and provided them in her blog (read it here).  If you want to see more all you need to do is go to Google - it's everywhere.

Before the Oprah show aired  I got an email from a friend who said some unkind things about the Beatie situation.  How it made her ashamed and how she felt she needed to distance herself from it.  I responded to her, and my response is as true now as it was before he was on Oprah:

I have a dear friend who is trans and has recently returned to the church.  She goes to a church in her town, and as far as she knows they don't know about her background.  She's very careful around them because she's concerned that, if they find out about her trans history, they won't accept her there any more.  I have asked her more than once how she feels about going to a place where she believes that, if they knew about here, she wouldn't be welcome?  That same concept applies here.  Many of us live in a society where we can hide to varying degrees.  We can escape having to explain our unique histories because society accepts what it sees, and we don't press the issue.  But in reality, what we're saying is that if society knew about us it wouldn't accept us in any number of aspects of our lives.  Going to an unaccepting church or hiding in an unaccepting society are both borne out of the same prejudice and ignorance and if you can frown upon one you have got to frown upon the other. 

Gotta run.  The day is already ahead of me...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

9:00pm:   There were a couple of stories today on impending events that are worth mentioning.

An Associated Press article implies that Sen. Ted Kennedy is getting ready to move the non-inclusive version of ENDA in the Senate (read it here).  I don't know that this is actually news, as we've known it for quite a while.  The question has never been if, it's when.  He said early on that he expected to introduce whatever version of the bill was passed in the House, and we know how that turned out.  Anyway, the story doesn't indicate any impending movement of the bill but it makes it seem as though something is happening.  Is it a coincidence that this non-news came out in the middle of another, more sensational, trans news frenzy?  Oy.

Speaking of the news frenzy - get ready.  My DVR is already set to record Oprah tomorrow.  There really hasn't been much for the press to write about on this for the last week or so - Thomas has an exclusive agreement with Oprah and People so he's laying low until after the show tomorrow.  That has probably been wise, and if he's smart he'll continue that strategy indefinitely.  In the absence of anything resembling real news, the fact that he'll be on Oprah has become news (see one of the articles here).  Oprah generally treats us with compassion (compared to others) and I can't imagine that she'll be hard on him.  I envision that there will be some kind of a doctor on the show to talk about the medical aspects, and a psychologist to talk about the potential impacts on the child.  That's all just a guess - we'll see how close I am.  I just hope it comes off well.  The implications are enormous.

David Letterman took an opportunity to use his "Top 10 List" last night as "Messages Left on Pregnant Man's Answering Machine".  He called Thomas an "androgynous freak show" - I don't know how anyone can perceive that as funny.  (See it here).  Unfortunately, I expect that kind of crap will be more rampant than any of us wants to believe by the weekend.  I've been getting emails from people back-pedaling from the story for the better part of a week now.  I'm not budging. 

For anyone who is interested, the GLAAD Media Awards in LA are coming up at the end of the month.  They recently announced that Ellen DeGeneres will be presenting the Vanguard Award to Janet Jackson in what promises to be an exciting event at the Kodak Theater (April 1 Press Release here).  I've still got a couple of seats at my table so if you're in the area (or can get there) and want to sit there let me know.  It should be a blast.

Speaking of GLAAD, they announced the release of a College Media Reference Guide today (press release here).  Take a look - it's pretty cool.

There's an interview with comedian Margaret Cho in The Edge in Boston this week.  She'll be performing there over the weekend, and had some important words about the transgender community:

Amen, sistah.

I saw a young dog that intrigued me online on Monday.  It was a German Shepard/Golden Lab mix that had been picked up as a stray and was in the custody of the county Animal Control.  I called about it and got some details so I could check back with them after IFGE.  Worried that they might euthanize the poor thing I called back today to see if he was ok.  I was relieved (and a little disappointed) to learn that he had been adopted this morning.

I'll be heading to Tucson to attend IFGE in the morning.  It's too hectic to try to pack and get down there this evening.  I'll be balancing my job and my attendance at the conference for the next couple of days in the unique pull and tug that is my life.  I had meetings from 9 this morning straight thru until 5 this afternoon, and had to meet my son for a quick lunch.  I've got a meeting with the Singapore team in the morning and a couple of other obligations later in the day as well.  Friday is status reporting so I'll be busy making sure that gets done before I show my face much at the conference.  Anyway, my main goal is to get as much video of people sharing their stories as possible so we'll see how it goes.

I booked a vacation today.  A friend wrote to tell me that she made arrangements to go to Hawaii in early July and that her girlfriend can't go so she's got an extra spot.  I've been tracking airfare and it reached a long-time low this morning so I booked it.  I'll be on the Big Island for a week over July 4.  I'm thrilled.  Perhaps it's no coincidence that my last vacation was at Glacier National Park and that, too, was over July 4 this past year.

I've been looking at some of the photos I took while were were at Glacier and am just loving them.  They represent the opposite of frenzy.  In my never ending appreciation of the simple peace and beauty of nature, here are a couple I particularly like because of the colors.  Enjoy -

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

8:00pm:   Happy April Fool's Day.  The good news is that nobody tried to fool me today, and I didn't try to fool anyone either. 

I can only write for a couple of minutes because the crowd is beginning to gather here in AZ for the IFGE Conference in Tucson this week so I've got to go to the airport to pick up some friends.  Tucson is maybe 100 miles from here and I'll most likely head down there this time tomorrow, after work.

I got the job description and other particulars for the HRC Assoc. Director of Diversity that I mentioned yesterday.  Here it is.  I provided Cuc's contact information in yesterday's post so feel free to contact her with questions.  She's one of the best things to happen internally in the organization in a long time.  My diversity co-chair, David Wilson, and I fought long and hard to define the Chief Diversity Officer role and the make sure it reported directly to the President.  We interviewed candidates for the better part of 9 months before we found the perfect person for the job - that's Cuc.  I can't believe she's only been there for a year - it seems like forever ago. Anyway, the job posting will be online shortly.

That's about it for today.  Work is busy, but manageable.  I'm looking forward to the craziness of the conference this weekend (thankfully, it's close to home).  Weather is good.  All things considered, I really can't complain.  :)

Monday, March 31, 2008

8:00pm:   I've got several things to say tonight.

First, I added the 2nd part of the "Hope" series - photos of an Obama poster on an abandoned building in Austin - to my comments from yesterday.  Same theme, different angle.

Speaking of Barack, I wrote to the GLBT steering committee leadership reminding them of my ask to be able to speak with Sen. Obama for a couple of minutes.  They wrote back promptly (a pleasant difference from my experience on the Clinton side of the fence) and assured me it is still being worked and that it is far from dead.  We'll see.

Speaking of politics, a second major "first" occurred last week.  The first first occurred when Diego Sanchez was named to the Platform committee of the Democratic National Convention by DNC Chair Howard Dean (read about it here).  Now, Merissa Richmond has been named as a Delegate to the convention from Tennessee (details here).  Trans people are getting involved in the political process like never before, and we can only hope it pays dividends in the end.  Anyway, congratulations to the always wonderful Merissa. 

I know I've taken a vow of silence with regards to HRC but I'll share something that was forwarded to me - it didn't come directly to me, mind you, but I feel comfortable sharing it.  When I was co-chair of diversity we worked hard to get funding for a role that would provide transgender outreach as part of the Diversity organization.  That has happened, and they're looking for a trans-person to come and work at HRC as an Associate Director of Diversity:

There was also a brief paragraph indicating that a job description will be forthcoming (it's not up on their website yet, either). I will forgo any personal opinions other than to say that there was a time when I would have seriously considered something like this there.  Contact Cuc if you want more information.

Speaking of corporate stuff, one of my mantra's between now and the fall will be "Out and Equal".  If you can possibly go - GO.  If you can't go - BEG.  The annual Workplace Summit is a transformative event to anyone who attends, so I urge you to start bugging your HR/Diversity/Management people to get on the list of attendees as soon as possible.  They also offer scholarships to people who can't afford to go so that's a viable route, as well.  They're accepting proposals for workshops so if you've got something to share follow the link and download an application.  The deadline is May 9 so there's still a little time.  I'm happy to help anyone and everyone fine-tune topics you've got on your mind if you'd like some help.  Just say the word.

Since we're on the topic of workshop proposals the Southern Comfort Conference is accepting workshop proposals, too. Here's part of an email I received from them yesterday:

Southern Comfort rocks, so if you've got something on your mind that you think needs to be discussed please submit a proposal.  We always need new and interesting topics and new presenters so don't be shy.  You'll be in good company.

As some my know I'm on the Board of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.  They came to Southern Comfort last year and came away from the experience jazzed about the possibilities working with the trans community.  They've been working diligently behind the scenes ever since but the fruits of some of their work will soon be available.  It's exciting stuff.  I'll go into some of it in more detail in a future entry.

One of my fellow board members is the Vice President of Communications for McDonalds USA.  Apparently, one of the right-wing groups isn't happy about that.  They wrote about it on their website today.  Similarly, Focus on the Family (think...James Dobson) has decided that lobbying Congress for workplace discrimination protections is asking for "special" rights (read it here) and are unhappy about NCTE Lobby Day coming up in a couple of weeks.  Their spokesperson calls us "hurting, but misguided". 

As the week passes we'll get to the Oprah show with Thomas Beatie on Thursday.  Thomas is already getting a significant amount of scrutiny, a story in the Daily Mail in the UK is just the excruciating beginning.  Remember when I said it was a hurricane warning?  Hold on tight. 

A couple of other things.  Remember HB1722 in Massachusetts from a few weeks ago?  After a heroic effort to move it forward it was sent to committee for further review (details here).  Typically, that's where bills are sent to languish and die.  There is still hope that it will fight its way back, but as the headline says, "history says otherwise".

Donna needs a companion and since options seem pretty limited in that regard right now I expect that there will be a dog in Donna's future.  It may not be in my immediate future, but the wheels are already in motion.  Stay tuned on that.

Lastly, I saw a list that intrigued me today.  It's a list from Money Magazine of the Top 100 Cities in the US to live and launch a business.  It's got some surprises. (see the list here).  If you click on the city it tells you why it's such a good place....
 

Sunday, March 30, 2008

1:00pm:   I spent the morning making travel arrangements.  April and early May have many moving parts so getting from here to there to there sometimes takes quite a bit of planning and a big dose of luck.  I still haven't nailed everything down yet but I'm better off than when I started.

I went to get my hair done on Friday morning and the always wonderful Heather was telling me about her new boyfriend.  She explained how he still makes her feel all jello-y inside.  I told her I miss that.  I haven't had that feeling in a long time.  I got my hair cut, too, and it's pretty short.  My mom likes to tell me that the first week after a new haircut it's too short, the next two weeks it's just right, and the 4th week it's too long.  She's usually right.  Anyway, I'm wanting a sassy angled bob by the summertime so we'll see how things progress.

Every once in a while something jumps out to my photographic sensibility, and that happened as we drove down one of the downtown streets in Austin.  There was an old, gutted building (that had some character) and on it there were a number of posters in various stages of tatter.  The only full poster was a drawing of Barack Obama, and the only word on it was "Hope".  I thought the symbolism was neat so we stopped and took some photos of it.  After playing with it for a couple of minutes in the photo editor (made the background black and white - there wasn't much color to start with, and saturated the colors in the posters a bit) here's the result:

A highlight of the weekend was being able to attend a cook-out held by one of the local gals in Killeen (thanks Autumn!).  It's about an hour away from Austin, and a number of folks from both Austin and Ft. Worth drove there to attend.  Although I had only an hour and a half to visit before I had to be back to the airport to catch my flight I had a great time.  My friend Michelle was there, celebrating her first day full-time.  She's amazing, lovely, incredibly nice and someone I'm thrilled to be able to call a friend.  I have no idea how she passed as a guy for these past many months and I'm just thrilled for her that she doesn't need to play that charade any more.  I finally got to meet Kelli B., as well, which was nice.  All in all, it was fun, although all too brief.

A main landmark in Killeen is Ft. Hood, a huge Army Base.  On our way to the cook-out we ended up on Tank Destroyer Blvd., and sure enough there was a huge tank sitting there by the side of the road.  I don't know about anyone else, but I generally don't see armored artillery in my day to day world.  Anyway, it was interesting.

Contrast that with the fact that I've got a Mourning Dove nested on my back patio.  She's up there night and day and I expect she's probably sitting on something precious.  Mourning Doves are a symbol of Peace, and of Gentleness.  I like to think there's some symbolic reason that she's back there.  I'm sure it's just because it's a great place to build a nest. In my own life I still haven't found that perfect place to build my nest.  I'm still looking.  Lastly, there's an interesting interview with Dr. Norman Spack in the Boston Globe today.  He talks about helping trans-kids, and it's very worth reading.  I've got a number of errands to run so I'll need to go.  More later...

Saturday, March 29, 2008

10:00pm:   I'm back from my 48 hour trip to Austin.  I'll have some things to say about it in tomorrow's post.  For the moment I want to catch up on a couple of news items from the past few days.

There was an article about Jenny Boylan on CNN a couple of days ago (read it here).  It was generally well done and sensitive.  Unfortunately, it's over shadowed by the continuing frenzy over the "pregnant man" story.  It was on 20/20 last night, and I'm told it was on Nightline as well.  Oprah's website say that the Beaties will be on her show next Thursday.

There have been other affects, too.  ABC News did a story titled "My Mommy Is a Boy".

On other topics, there was recently a Transgender Job Fair at the San Francisco GLBT Center.  It was arranged by the Transgender Law Center and received some positive press coverage (see the CBS affiliate report here).  The turnout and the response looks wonderful.  I hope we can arrange these kinds of things in other cities.

Lastly, I recently got an email from my friend Sara in Houston.  I met Sarah at IFGE in 2003 or 2004.  She worked at Shell Oil and was working with their Employee Resource Group SEAShell to get their Discrimination policy updated to include protections on the grounds of Gender Identity.  It seemed to get to the executives every year, but there always seemed to be an issue and it never got passed.  I spoke there in 2005, and several of the people that I've known there have slowly moved to other companies.  Not Sara.  She has hung on there despite some significant challenges. 

Last week I got the following email:

This is great news.  Sara started this work in 1996 and admits that "I personally gave up two years ago after three failed attempts in 10 years and hundreds of pages of documents submitted in favor of inclusion. I can't help but think my efforts over the years certainly got the ball rolling...."  Congrats to Sara and all the folks at Shell.

That's really all I want to say tonight.  I'm tired, and going to bed. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

11:00pm:   The story is everywhere tonight.  See it in Hawaii, or in Eugene OR, on YouTube, in Philadelphia, in Kansas City, in Tampa, in Azerbaijan, in Pakistan....  This story has legs (metaphorically, of course).  Remember that Thomas' story was originally buried deep in the "current print edition" pages of their website?  It's now right there on the main page, and I'll bet it's gotten more hits than any story they've done in a long time (if ever).

I wrote about it on Bilerico tonight: Pregnant Man the tip of a much deeper iceberg.  If you agree with me leave a comment if you'd like.  If you don't feel free to leave a comment, too, but be nice. 

I need to get to bed because I'm traveling to Austin tomorrow, but there are a couple of things I wanted to mention.

First, I wanted to thank Cathy - the HR person at the company where I transitioned - for meeting with me this morning.  She had no idea who I was or any of my background and I really enjoyed our conversation.  The irony is that we sat in the exact office that my HR person at the time had, where I first came out to her.  It's odd to re-visit a non-descript little room where one of the biggest events in your life happened.  Although I knew it was big at the time I don't think I really appreciated the magnitude of it which was probably a good thing.  It would have been more overwhelming than it was.

Second, the pregnancy story is causing media to do outreach to the transgender community.  Here's a follow-up note from PFLAG from this afternoon:

Contact them if you're interested.

7:00am:   Today is the day that things start to get crazy with the pregnant transgender man in OR.  The story hit the Associated Press, so it'll be everywhere by noon.  It's already on ABC News, reported in the UK, and it's moving fast.  It's going to get every narrow-minded creep saying ridiculously ignorant things that are sure to get blood boiling so get ready.  In a report out of Australia they quote one of his neighbors as saying that "its a hoax".  That's taken from a Portland, OR report questioning the legitimacy of the story.    In Coatia the headline is "American Transvestite Five Months Pregnant", and the photo that they cropped is obviously not Mr. Beattie.  All of this has come out in the last 12-18 hours and it's just the tip of the media (and cultural) tidal wave I'm sure will follow. 

As we've known, this story has been out for a couple of weeks, but it has brewed quietly in the background.  That's done, and it's out there now for all to see. Here's what one writer said:

On a lighter note, The Task Force is celebrating Women's History Month by collecting names of GLBT women to be added to an honor roll they're keeping.  If you've got someone you'd like to nominate or would like more information there's more on their website.

And, PFLAG has a unique opportunity for those who might be interested.  Since shoes are involved, I just might try this out.  :)

I've got an interesting morning ahead of me.  In my never-ending quest for closure I'm meeting with someone from HR at the company where I transitioned 9 years ago.  I'm not quite sure what I expect to get out of it other than the inner peace of having gone back with a strong sense of pride and self-worth to a place that I left with little of either.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Monday, March 24, 2008

8:00pm:   I'm in a bit of a funk this evening.  Same old complaint - job is unfulfilling, so much more to life than settling for the same old-rut, I came home to an empty house.  Again.  Usually it doesn't bug me so much.  I'm sure the delayed impact of losing Molly has something to do with this, and I expect it will pass by tomorrow or the next day.  That doesn't mean it's not real, though.  It just means we find ways to work through it.  I need a vacation.

The story in the Advocate about the pregnant Trans-Man that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago is slowly gaining some traction.  Some are surprised that things have unfolded as slowly as they have but little by little it's seeping out.  How can you not look at that photo and not be amazed? The entire lid will pop off next week when he's on Oprah, and featured in People Magazine.  If things don't get crazy about this at some point I'll be pleasantly surprised.  Don't think for a second that phone calls aren't happening to get ready for it. 

I get an update from GLAAD President Neil Giuliano each week providing a Weekly Snapshot of GLAAD's work from the week before.  There are always a number of things specific to the trans community, as media coverage of us has increased along with our general visibility.  The good news is that coverage isn't limited to daytime talk shows or sweeps documentaries any more.  The bad news is that much of the work is to combat the negative and horrific stuff about us.  Thankfully, this week there're more positive work than defensive work.  Anyway, here's some of the info from this week's GLAAD Weekly Snapshot:

Every month they send out a list of "Best" and "Worst" of the month.  Their picks for March are already out (see them here). 

I'm going to close tonight by posting a photo I took a few weeks ago in Fountain Hills.  I call it "Serene".  It's a reminder to stop and smell the roses.  As I say - I need a vacation.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

8:00pm:   Elizabeth had upwards of 30 people over at her house today.  Part of me wishes I could have been there with her.  Another part of me appreciated being alone.  I talked with my mom, and wished her a happy Easter.  I took a good long morning bike ride.  I spent time working in my back yard.  I made a point of dressing up today, I even curled my hair, to go out and do some errands and meet my son for lunch.  And to top the day off I grilled a ribeye streak, and cooked up some spinach with garlic and olive oil for dinner.  I have come to peace that Molly is gone, and I have made it a goal to bring a puppy into my life sooner rather than later. 

I hate to talk politics on a weekend, especially on a Holiday, but the Democrat presidential candidates recently submitted completed GLBT surveys in PA.  Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama both expressed their views and although nothing earth-shattering I nonetheless found their responses interesting.  Regarding ENDA, Barack says "As President, I will place the weight of my administration behind the enactment of a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act to outlaw workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity."  Hillary expresses similar sentiments, although her comments are not as powerful: "I strongly support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act that includes protections for transgender individuals, and I will fight to have that be the version that is signed into law when I am President."

I've got some big things on tap this week.  Next weekend I'm off to Austin for a couple of days.  I've got a few things to take care of there and wish I could stay for a while.  Unfortunately, my time is rarely my own and I need to be back.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

9:00pm:  Thanks to those who sent kind words about Molly.  She will be missed.  The good news is that I didn't spend the evening wallowing in sadness, which could have very easily been the case.  A good friend stopped over and we ended up going out for dinner.  It was a much needed diversion, and our conversation set the foundation for some exciting possibilities in other aspects of life. 

If those of us who endure the harsh summer heat in Arizona need to wonder why we move here this weekend is a perfect reminder.  Skies are crystal blue, sun is bright, afternoon highs are in the upper 80's.  I can't imagine nicer days, and as I went for a late afternoon run today the sights and scents of spring are everywhere.  It's glorious, and I'm glad to have some down time to be able to enjoy it.

As if Molly's passing wasn't depressing enough, I was up this morning at 6:30, made myself a cup of coffee, and immediately started my income taxes.  I've got tequila ready for later - either to celebrate the fact that I'm getting some money back or to drown my sorrows at having to pay.  I'm about 90% done at this point (thank God for TurboTax!) and things are looking ok.  I'm breathing a cautious sigh of relief.

I spent time editing another video today.  If I knew what I was doing with this stuff I'd be dangerous.  Even with the little bit I know - it's just a blast.  I've been tinkering around with some of the tools and options.  The disappointing thing is that the quality of the original versions of these things is so nice - just beautiful - but the grossly compressed versions that I need to create to load to YouTube just don't do them justice.  It's very frustrating.  I'm very strongly considering burning monthly DVD's of the videos I create and making them available to anyone who wants them - I could provide quite a bit more stuff that way. I could put more photos, more video, more everything. 

The video I created today was a mini-interview I did with Monica Canfield-Lenfest from COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays) at the Transgender Leadership Summit in Berkley last week.  She's a full-time staff member managing their Kids of Trans Program and is working on some very exciting stuff.  If you go to any of the trans conferences you'll probably see Monica there.  Her energy, her dedication, and her experience being the child of a transgender parent make her an invaluable friend and resource for the community. 

I'm going to be posting quite a few of these kinds of things in the coming weeks and months.  There are so many amazing people, important resources, incredible stories, and exciting opportunities available that need broader visibility so I'm happy to provide whatever help I can make sure they get it.  How many of us had to come out to our children and wished there were more resources or support for them?  Coming out affects everyone in your life so these kinds of things are so, so critically important.  

Friday, March 21, 2008

6:30pm:  I got a call from my ex-wife today.  Anyone who has visited here for any length of time knows that my ex has effectively shut me out of her life since the day in 1999 when given a choice to stay and be a husband or leave until I could do that.  We have seen each other less than a half dozen times since then.  We rarely talk and, in fact after 16+ years of marriage I still marvel at how we could have become such complete strangers to each other. The only things we share right now are a son, a ton of old memories, and a monthly spousal support payment.

She called me last month on my birthday, which came as a pleasant surprise.  Actually, I was mildly shocked.  Unfortunately, today's surprise was not a pleasant one.

Shortly after she and I got married we bought a German Sheppard that we named Murphy.  We decided that we needed to try our parenting skills on something that wasn't actually a person first, to make sure we could do it, before having a child.  A few short years later my son was born and the four of us were, by all external indications, a very happy family. Over the years Murph outgrew puppyhood, became a trusted family member, grew old and gray, her hips started to give way, and one day after a very full life she was gone.  Our entire family was traumatized at losing her and I remember the three of us huddled around in a circle, my son and my wife crying together, and me wishing that I could but the tears just wouldn't come.

Several months later we moved to fill the hole in our lives by bringing another puppy into our family.  We wanted a Golden Retriever and some friends pointed us to a breeder way out in the country.  We particularly liked the lighter colored Goldens and these breeders promised to call us when the mother and father that we liked best had a litter.  Several months later, we had another new life in our family.  Her name was Molly.

Molly was smarter than many people I know.  She was tremendously intelligent, well-behaved, even-tempered, energetic, and fun.  And, she was always a lady.  I can't think of anything I'd want more from a companion than Molly.  When we moved across country in 1996 it was my son and I in the front seat of the car, and Molly in the back.  She loved to swim, and there was a time when we needed to block the stairs of the pool to keep her out.  When life was extremely difficult at my house and my wife and I couldn't stand being around each other I kept my sanity by taking Molly for long evening walks.  Although that time of my life was pure hell at the time the best part about it were those evenings - out with Molly.

After I left home in 1999 I still came back to visit her whenever I could.  Those visits have become more and more rare.  On those very isolated occasions over the past few years when I've been allowed back to our old house she remembers me, and the puppy that I remember comes to life despite the passing of time.  I called my ex- a couple of weeks ago asking if I could come to the house and take Molly for a walk.  I missed her.  And, as always happens, I was told my ex- wouldn't be around so it wouldn't happen.  That's a shame.

All that leads up to the phone call this afternoon.  After 13 years Molly suddenly got sick.  My ex- brought her to the vet today and got some very bad news.  Molly is in doggy heaven tonight.

It's almost appropriate that this should happen on Easter weekend, when themes of rebirth and renewed life are the order of the day.  And, although I never get to see Molly anymore I'll miss her, knowing that she's not here.  She was loved.  As my wife sobbed on the phone today I remembered days gone by.  I remember when Murph passed and we grieved together as a family.  I offered to come over to the house tonight so we could grieve together.  She said she'd rather grieve alone.  So, I guess I will too.  And that's a shame....

Thursday, March 20, 2008

7:30pm:  The weekend is in sight.  I'm already salivating at the thought of an ice cold Margarita or two.  Or three.   :)

	I promised some photos from the GLAAD Awards so I'm going to deliver.... photo 1: One of the fun things about going to the GLAAD events is the opportunity to meet people you have no idea who they are and later learn that they're just flippin' amazing.  There was this incredibly handsome guy with the bluest, most amazing eyes, at the pre-event VIP reception.  I spotted him from across the room, went up to him, and told him, "I have no idea who you are and I'm sorry about that but you have them most amazing eyes.  Can I get a picture with you?"  It turns out that he was Cheyenne Jackson from the Broadway musical Xanadu. I watched some video of him on YouTube since getting home and wish I had known who he was.  He's amazing. photo 2: Comedian Kate Clinton was there to introduce Judy Shepard. photo 3: The amazing Bishop Gene Robinson was there, too, and was one of many who accepted the award when "For The Bible Tells Me So" won. photo 4: The person that Elizabeth would most liked to have met was Mariska Hargitay from Law and Order: SVU.  She loves all those police shows.  photo 5: Mariska gave the award to Barbara Walters for the 20/20 show on transgender kids. photo 6: Lastly (in terms of my photos, anyways), Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick were there as presenters as well.  I loved Kyra in the movie Phenomenon. All in all, we had a great time and will be revving up to do it all again in Los Angeles at the end of April. Speaking of fancy dinners in Los Angeles - there's an interesting article about the recent HRC Dinner there on Bilerico today.  In a significant display of self-control, I have no commentary to add. My friends at GLAAD have been busy.  Today they announced the launch of "Newsroom '08".  The press release describes it as "a Web site which will serve as a resource on how media talk about issues affecting to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community as they pertain to the local, state and national elections in November." (Read the Press Release here). There was a report on CNN today about a British paratrooper who recently transitioned.  See it here.  She's amazing. In closing for tonight, I find it hard to believe that this is Easter weekend.  There was a time when Easter was a big deal in my life.  Now it's around the corner and it's odd to realize it has no real meaning to me - other than memories of years past and symbolism of rebirth and renewed life.  I think part of it is that many of my memories are family memories and since my son is grown and gone there aren't any reminders for me anymore.  My son and I are planning to get together this weekend but that really has nothing to do with Easter.  My first Easter on my own was in 1999, shortly before transition, and was one of the darkest days I can remember.  The good news is that I've come a very long way since then.  That's truly something to celebrate.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

6:00pm:  I'm home and have much to share about my non-stop trip back East.  But there's something I want to say that's more important first.  To have this discussion I'll need to break my self-imposed gag-order on talking about HRC here on my blog.  They're actually not the main theme of this, but they play a role.

Cyndi Lauper will again be doing her True Colors Tour across America this year.  Last year's event was a huge success, and provided an opportunity for GLBT communities across this country to come together and celebrate.  The main draw wasn't politics, or legislation, or anything particular to the challenges many of us face day in and day out.  If anything, the Tour provided an opportunity to escape that and get back to more basic things: music, fun, diversity, acceptance, and community. Those are the things that made the tour special and that's why it's back bigger and better this year.

As happened last year, HRC is getting a dollar from every ticket sold.  I should clarify - the HRC Foundation is getting a dollar, not the PAC.  The Foundation is where the Workplace Program, and the Religion and Faith Program, and other educational efforts live.  It's not the political side that lobbies Congress, or supports candidates, or otherwise gets spent politically.  Still - a dollar from every ticket goes to HRC and for those who hate HRC that's reason enough to hate this tour, too.  Frankly, I find it to be misguided anger but I certainly get it.

HRC isn't the only beneficiary of the tour.  PFLAG gets funding from it too (details here).  Other local and national organizations are getting a piece of the pie, as well.  If ever there was a tour giving back to a community that desperately needs funding to do its work at a critical time - this is it. 

Whether anyone goes or not should be a personal decision, based on any number of things.  And, to be perfectly honest, although I'd love to see Cyndi and the B-52's (they rocked at the HRC National Dinner a couple of years ago) I don't know if I'll go when the Tour passes through Phoenix on June 25.  As far as I'm concerned, that's my personal choice to make and has nothing to do with the tour, the artists, or concerns of inclusion.  It does have something to do with HRC but that's a personal battle for me to fight, not a public one.

Against that backdrop, a trans-woman has decided that the fact that HRC is involved calls the entire tour into question.  She started an email campaign to tour promoters and artists accusing them of being un-inclusive, of not trying hard enough to engage the transgender community, and of other perceived slights.  She threatened to call for boycotts and for picketing as the tour crossed the country. 

In her most recent email to denounce the tour she uses my name.  She is somehow implying that I support this misguided effort.  So, I'm here to say publicly and loudly to anyone that cares that I in no way support an organized boycott of this tour.  I do not feel that the tour planners and promoters are in any way behaving in ways that are not supportive of the trans community and, in fact, are going above and beyond to be supportive.  I respect that this person feels a need to vent and has decided to make a name for herself by doing this.  I respect the desire  to make sure the performers understand why the transgender community is still so uncomfortable with HRC right now.  But as a community I truly believe that calling for an organized "boycott" does more harm than good and I won't have any part of it.  Part of life is picking your battles.  This is not a battle worth fighting.  In fact, it should not be a battle at all.

I'll tell you this now.  If I decide to go to this concert at any of its tour stops and this person organizes an effort to picket it that's a line I'll step across.  I refuse to make one person's personal war my own.  If she wants to try to whip up more HRC-hate and hysteria then she's on her own.  I'll have no part of it, and I encourage similarly minded people to do the same.  There are far more productive outlets for our energies and talents than harassing supportive artists and sabotaging tour plans for events that give back to the broader community.  I can't see how that's positive. 

9:15pm:  It's late and I've got lots to catch up on, not the least important of which is sleep.  This has been my schedule over these past few days:

• Arrived back in Phoenix late Sunday from several days in the Bay area.  Unpacked, repacked, in bed at midnight.

• Up at 3:30am on Monday to catch a 6:15am flight to NYC.  (Thank God I sleep well on planes)

• Arrived in NYC at 3:45PM.  My friend Mel picked me up and we drove through St. Patrick's Day revelers to Times Square for the GLAAD Media Awards.

• Changed, freshened up, got down to the Cocktail Reception by 5:15.

• Stayed at the event until it ended at 11.  Changed into some comfy driving clothes and hit the road at 11:30

• Arrived at Mel's in Philadelphia at 1:30am.  Collapsed in bed at 2am.

• Up Monday at 8, dialed into work.

• Left Mel's by 5 to drive to the University of Delaware for a speaking engagement.

• University of Delaware event: 7:30-9:30pm.  Back home by 11.

• In bed by midnight.

• Alarm went off this morning at 4:15am.  Packed, got to the airport for a 7am flight to Boston, and then a connector for the 5+ hour flight from Boston to PHX.

• Landed at 12:30 PT and went straight to work.  And, here we are.

I'm beat tonight.  I'm coming down with something - I've got a scratchy throat and fully expect to feel horrible by this time tomorrow.  And, I'm about to do something at work that will cause a change.  Since I generally go out of my way to avoid giving details about work I'll leave it at that for now.  But there's some stress involved.

I'll try to catch up on things as the week progresses.  It'd take too long to do in one blast.  I've taken some good photos over the past few days and will begin uploading them.  I'll start with a few from the Transgender Leadership Summit at Berkley over the weekend:

	Jamison and I in thought, getting ready for our Plenary

A high point from the GLAAD Media Awards was when Barbara Walters accepted an award for the report she did on 20/20 about Transgender kids.

An other high point was GLAAD Executive Director Neil Guliano's remarks.  One of his mantras these days is about the importance of telling our personal stories. He says, "it doesn't make a bit of difference - it makes all the difference."  His delivery and his comments were right on and as he spoke you could have heard a pin drop.  That's saying something in a huge ballroom filled to capacity where wine and Absolut Vodka had been flowing freely for a couple of hours. 

There are some photos of the event online already.  And, GLAAD has already posted some on their site, as well. I'll post some here tomorrow.

Although I was generally very happy with the evening there were some disappointments. 

• It's too bad there were less than a half dozen trans-people out of the 1,400+ folks who attended.  We need to find creative ways of making these kinds of things available to people in our community. 

• The good news is that almost all of the talking was inclusive (people didn't fall into the pattern of saying "gays and lesbians" and leaving off the T).  The bad news is that none of the presenters, speakers, or other stage presence was trans.  We have to change that, too.

• I was disheartened to see that the magazine article about transgender that made the cover of Newsweek didn't win Outstanding Magazine Article.  It was absolutely historic, and somehow the magnitude of seeing that story covered in that way seems to have gotten lost. 

Bravo to Neil, the staff, the volunteers, and everyone involved in the evening.  It was a smashing success and I look forward to doing  it all again in LA in April.

I'm fading.  So, I'll say g'night.....

Sunday, March 16, 2008

9:15pm:  The trip to the Bay area was wonderful.  I can name a dozen highlights without even stopping to think. From the meetings downtown on Thursday and Friday, dinner with Jamison, Mara, Dr. Ousterhout and Mira on Thursday night, dinner on Fisherman's Wharf with Kate on Friday evening, morning coffee down by the beach in Pacifica, the powerful comments by National Center for Lesbian Rights Executive Director about community at the morning plenary yesterday, the wonderful energy at the University of California at Berkley, spending time with old friends and meeting new ones, an absolutely breathtakingly sunny and bright day today - it was a trip of which memories are made.  I took many photos and did some video, as well, so I expect to have some things to share soon.

Kate too some photos, as well, and has already forwarded a few for me to share. 

• The first two photos below are of me taking photos at the beach yesterday and today. 

• The third photo was on the side of a bus in Berkley and I felt compelled to take a photo of it.  We need that kind of visibility for transgender awareness - a snappy slogan on busses and billboards.  Very cool.  That'd certainly start the conversation.

I'm also sharing a few photos of Kate and I through the years (including one from today).  She is truly a wonderful big sister and dear friend.  It's truly incredible to see how life has changed for both of us over the years.  She is currently the Executive Director of the Golden Gate Business Alliance, the oldest GLBT Chamber of Commerce in the country.  I never in a million years would have imagined the paths we've both been on.  The good news is that we're both still going strong.

A very heartfelt thanks to everyone who attended the closing plenary this morning.  Asking people to show up on a beautiful Sunday morning is a significant request and we had a very nice turnout.  The theme of our talk was about moving forward and we wanted to engage people in a dialogue.  I'm happy with how thing went an very appreciated of all the effort that went into making it happen.  They video-taped it so I'm not sure where it will surface but when I find out I'll be sure to share the link here.

On to other topics...

I'll share what I was hesitant to share last night, although I won't put any text description to it.  I don't want to pop up as some Google pointer to it because it'll get more visibility than you can imagine soon (Oprah during the first week of April, People Magazine).  Here it is. 

There have been several interesting media articles about the trans community over the past couple of days:

• My friend Jenny is featured in the Dayton Daily News: Finally Herself: Transgender Life in Dayton.  There are a couple of additional articles that accompany the feature on Jenny (Transgender People Step Out, risk ridicule, worse)

• There was an article in the New York Times Magazine this morning titled "When Girls Will Be Boys"

That's all for tonight. It's after 9 already.  Somehow, having breakfast by the beach seems like a couple of days ago already.  I have a 6am flight to NYC tomorrow morning meaning I'll need to be up at 3:30am to leave by 4:30 to get there by 5.  Ouch.  I better get some sleep on the plane.  I land at LaGuardia at 3:45pm and a friend is picking me up to go straight to the GLAAD dinner in midtown.  After the dinner is over we're driving the 3 hours to Philadelphia.  Finally, I'm speaking at the University of Delaware on Tuesday evening as part of Trans-Week there.  I'm pretty jazzed about that.  Then, I'm flying back here early on Wednesday morning.  If this all works out without a hitch it'll be a minor miracle.

Wish me luck.
 

Saturday, March 15, 2008

11:20pm:  It's late and I'm tired.  Getting up this morning and having coffee down by the beach before heading over to Berkley seems like days ago.  I've met so many great people here - it has been wonderful.  And, I've been collecting a few more video mini-profiles to share.  It's just a matter of finding the time....

A major story about our community is about to hit so get ready.  If you know where to look it's already out there but the biggest thud won't happen for a couple of weeks.  I hesitate to provide additional visibility to it yet - it will get enough of that in the weeks to come. So for now let's just say that this is a Tornado Warning - meaning that one is imminent.  Some who know about it are already wondering what impact it will have.  I can see both positive and negative outcomes. I don't think anyone can change it at this point so it will need to run its course.  We'll just need to be ready to deal with it.

Jamison and I will do the closing plenary tomorrow morning.  My flight leaves at 4pm.  I arrive back in Phoenix at 6pm.  And I need to be on an early morning flight to New York City to get to the GLAAD Awards there on Monday night.  This schedule is just crazy, but the end is in sight.  The question is where I'll be working at the end of the week.  Again - Tornedo Warning.  A storm is imminent.
 

Friday, March 14, 2008

11:40pm:  I'm the the San Francisco Bay area.  I arrived yesterday afternoon and despite a brief snafu with luggage the rest of the day went brilliantly.  Jamison Green and I had a very productive meeting with the people from Out and Equal about some things we'd like to do together.  We met Dr. Ousterhout, Mira, and Mara Keisling for dinner.  And we had time to relax and unwind before bed. 

Tonight I am staying with my "Big Sister" Kate.  The view from her patio in Pacifica overlooks the ocean and although it's too dark to see it from here you can certainly hear it.  I can't wait for the sun to rise tomorrow l though I hope I get quite a bit of sleep between now and then.  This visit is divided into two parts - yesterday and today taking care of business and dialing into work to manage my project.  Tomorrow and Sunday will be spent at the California Transgender Leadership Summit in Berkley.  A bonus is the opportunity to see friends I haven't seen in a while, and to meet new ones. 

Kate and I had dinner on Fisherman's Wharf tonight before heading over to the opening Plenary for the conference.  The view from our table was spectacular, and it was one of those meals you remember for a long time.  Things like that often make me stop to truly appreciate life.  I had Dungeness Crab Cakes, which is what I ordered back in 1999 shortly after my FFS and I was finally allowed to work my way back to solid food (due to sutures in my mouth).  I could never have imagined the life path that has led me here since then, and I'm excited about the life paths waiting to disclose themselves to me.  I'm thrilled to be here and I'm looking forward to participating in the conference over these next couple of days before heading back home late Sunday afternoon.

There are a number of things to talk about tonight.

One of the organizations for which I'm on the board (The National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce - NGLCC) was in the news this week for work it's doing with Supplier Diversity efforts.  This most recent article was prompted by the announcement the UPS is adding GLBT owned businesses as part of their supplier diversity efforts (read about it here).  They also work with GLBT owned businesses to become certified as a GLBT provider.  It's all very exciting and there will be additional news on this - specific to the trans community - coming shortly.

The National Center for Transgender Equality released its analysis of the Real ID Act and the impact it can/might/will have on Transgender people.  Some of us have unique challenges when it comes to personal identification and names that might not match our "official" documents, or genders that don't match, or other disconnects that not only can become an inconvenience but can put us at risk for danger.

I've got more, but I'm tired and we need to be up early to be back at Berkley by 9am.  So, I'll save it for tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

10:00pm:  I should be packing for my trip to the Bay area but I'm too tired.  I'll have to do it in the morning.  The hectic pace catches up with me from time to time.  This is one of those times.

I had another of my ongoing One on One sessions at the Apple store this morning at 7am.  Believe it or not they open that early for nuts like me who get up early and want to learn.  There was another woman there sitting patiently outside the locked gates with her 17-inch iMac wrapped in what looked like hand-made custom plaid clothing, stuffed into a basket with wheels on it so she could roll it to and from her car.  Too funny.  The cool thing is that I get alot out of these sessions and can't wait to get home to use the stuff I've learned.  These classes are on video editing software (Final Cut Pro) and the things you can do just make me so jazzed. 

One of my goals these days is to do 7-10 minute "Mini-Profiles" from people in the community.  I expect to get a number of them at the Conference this weekend, and I'll be out to get many more at the IFGE Conference in Tucson at the beginning of April.  As my skill with the editing tools expand we'll just have to see where this goes.  Stay tuned on all of that.  I feel like a kid in a candy store sometimes - it's just too much fun.

That said - I need to get to bed.  I'm too tired to type.  I'm off to San Francisco tomorrow where Jamison and I have a follow-up meeting with Out and Equal about some exciting things we started discussing when I was there in late January.  I've got a couple of other meetings, as well, and am looking forward to seeing my "Big Sister" Kate.  It has been far too long since we've had time to catch up with one another...

Gnight.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

10:00pm:  I had a belated birthday dinner tonight with a wonderful, dear friend.  We have the deepest, most interesting conversations and I truly value her friendship and opinion.  I told her early on that she reminds me of me in some ways so I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  I suppose that depends on how you feel about me.  Anyway, we did a shot of a very nice Tequila for dessert, which was just what the doctor ordered. I'm sure I'll have a headache when I wake up in the morning.

I came out today publicly supporting Sen. Obama for President.  I spoke with several people from the Obama campaign over these past several days and have been very comfortable with how things feel to me.  As the campaign has unfolded I've had the same opportunity that most Americans have had to gauge the candidates, to evaluate them,  and to make choices.  After careful consideration, I'm more comfortable with Sen. Obama than I am with Sen. Clinton.  His message feels better to me - it resonates in ways that Hillary's doesn't.  The fact that I haven't felt engaged as part of the Clinton GLBT steering committee wasn't really a factor and I perceive that to be my fault as much as theirs, but the fact is that I never felt any passion for her as President the way others have.  I wrote to her GLBT steering committee leadership last night and asked that my name be removed from her list.  I wished her and her supporters all the best.

I did an interview with Kerry Eleveld at Advocate.com today about my move to the Obama Campaign (Read her article here).   We had a far-ranging conversation that touched on a number of things that had nothing to do with politics.  She did an interview with me shortly after ENDA and I enjoy our discussions.  Queerty ran the story as well (read it here), and included me as a "bold name activist".  I must be moving up in the world or something.  Anyway, I'm happy to do what I can to help Sen. Obama's campaign and am willing to break the cardinal rule of not talking politics or religion if anyone wants to chat.  Know this, however - there is no right or wrong answer.  This is simply the right answer for me, and I'm confident that this is the candidate who will make the biggest difference as far as broader recognition of Equal Rights for all is concerned.

One thing that does not feel inclusive is some of the other reporting on it.  One reporter said the following: "This continues to show the momentum that the Obama camp is demonstrating in all different slices of the electorate," said Eric Stern, who has been actively courting gays and lesbians to join the Obama team."  See anything missing?  I do.

I also accepted some other significant honors today but will hold off on sharing until they are publicly announced.  All it all, it was a big day.  And, I see that the Dow jumped 417 points today.  Coincidence?  :)

I did the Rebecca Juro radio show last Thursday and had a blast.  I see that Becky has put the audio of the show online (it's here).  I joined during the second hour (and it seems as though I talked for two hours straight) but it was certainly an honest and candid discussion.  One of the things I find most exciting about the show isn't anything I said - it's that Becky got a job and she talks about it!  We discussed it offline and she's just thrilled about how things seem to be going.  When we talk about what a job means to people, and why ENDA is so important - it's more than just a paycheck.  You can hear it in her voice, ya know?  Anyway, Congrats to Becky.

Monday, March 10, 2008

8:30pm:  More and more workplace stories will be surfacing in the upcoming months.  One of the most public and compelling is the story of Diane Schroer.  The last time I visited her I marveled at a paperweight made of various sizes and shapes of ammunition.  In person she's quiet, personable, and she seems shy.  She gives little indication of her unique background.  But I wouldn't want to make her mad, though.   That doesn't seem like a healthy move....

Diane was a colonel in the Special Forces who was offered a job in the Library of Congress as an international terrorism analyst, only to have it rescinded when she disclosed that she wanted to begin work as Diane, not David.

There's a CNN report on her case:

There's a more detailed explanation of her life on YouTube as well (produced by the American Civil Liberties Union):

I interviewed Diane's attorney, the fantabulous Sharon McGowan (ACLU Staff Attorney with the Lebian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and AIDS Project), at the TransLaw Conference at Harvard Law School last weekend.  She provides an update on the case:

Note: the video is a little over 7 minutes long.  Only 5 minutes of it show here for now....

Diane and her attorney will be talking about her case on Wednesday at NASA Goddard Space Flight Center near DC.  If you live in the area and can make it I think you'll find it enlightening.

6:30am:   I was watching the weather this morning, feeling sorry for all those buried by the most recent snow-storm in the East.  Scenes from throughout Ohio and NY bring flashbacks to years when I lived in Buffalo and Rochester and Syracuse.  In 1991 we had a devastating ice storm in Rochester in early March and were without power for 9 days.  The double-whammy of these kinds of things is that the daffodils and the tulips are waiting - poised for their time to grow and all you want after a long winter is some sun and warmth.  Finally.  Anyway, some of us don't have the stomach for that as we get older and retreat to more temperate climates.  The weather here in Phoenix is going to be mid-80's and sunny for most of the week.  This is why we move here.  It's not that I'm gloating - there's a life lesson there somewhere.

I mentioned yesterday that I didn't want to talk about HRC any more so I'm starting that today.  Done.  No more.  I'm starting a week of silence hoping it will stretch into two or more.  It's not that anything has changed - it's that I'm tired of dealing with it because it's rarely good news.  They could have a miraculous change of heart and Joe could call me up and tell me his biggest secret and it could be the biggest news ever, but you won't see it here.  I don't like to make promises I can't keep - this one I'll keep.  Just like the end of winter, there are too many positive things waiting to happen elsewhere to dwell on things that threaten to keep us back.  It's time for the sun to shine for a change so that's where I'm headed.  I decided that in my own personal rewind and start over I need to do this.  So I will.  No more for now.

I'm also tinkering with other aspects of my life.  I'm thinking of it as kind of like a personal "Spring Cleaning".  Some things need to go.  Other things need to change.  Balance needs to be regained.  Having a spare day with very few obligations has been healthy in that regard.  I had a nice dinner with my electrologist, Maria, last night and we were reminiscing back to the early days of my transition.  It's so easy to forget how difficult they were - I think it's just one of those human responses to trauma.  But at the same time it's good to be reminded of them.  I'm still wondering where the life I thought I wanted to lead back then has gone.  That's not to say that life was ever realistic for me or anything other than a fairy tale in the mind of someone waiting for the darkness of "winter" to end.  It's time for one of those mid-flight flight-path adjustments - I'm working on that as we speak.

There was a story in yesterday's LA Times about the Lawrence King shooting in Oxnard last month.  Titled "A deadly clash of emotions before Oxnard shooting", here's a passage:

It's heart-breaking to realize that people have to endure this kind of torment.  Hate and intolerance know no boundaries.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see that residents of Montgomery Count, MD were able to collect enough signatures to have a ballot measure added this fall to rescind discrimination protections for Transgender people (read it here).  The same mob mentality that uses it's sheer numbers to decide who can and can't marry can dictate who can and can't be equal.  This is the kind of stuff we're up against, and why we need to do everything we can to stop it. 

The day awaits....

Sunday, March 9, 2008

8:30am:   One of the things I've wanted to be since an early age is a camper.  Not a pop-up camper on wheels kind of camper, and not a 4-room tent-chalet with a sun room and a wet bar kind of camper.  The kind of camper I've wanted to be is one with a small pup-tent where the term "roughing it" really means something.  It's not a punishment or something to be endured, mind you.  It's just part of the camping experience.

Until this past summer my most recent camping excursion happened in the late 1970's - I believe I was a senior in high school and had joined the Outdoor Club in hopes of being able to camp.  It rained for our entire Sr. Camping trip, but I still remember the experience as a positive one.  At the time tents were little triangles with 2 poles - one at either end - and the camping beverage of choice was Tang.  Somehow, I can't think of any other time we'd drink Tang other than when we were camping.

My family never camped when I was growing up.  In fact, the visual of what that might look like makes me smile to this day.  Over the 15+ years I was married I had always wanted us to go camping and even started buying gear, little by little, as if that by itself was enough to force us to go.  The fact of the matter is that my wife doesn't like going anywhere that doesn't (a) have a clean indoor bathroom and (b) have a shower.  So needless to say camping never happened.  I got a brief taste of camping last July when my friend Molly and I went hiking for several days in Glacier National Park and it's an experience I won't forget.  I was giddy about it for weeks.

I'm a member at REI, an outdoor gear store, and they send me bonus dollars every year for the money I've spent there.  It's usually not much (at least, it's not like the check I get back from Costco) but I use the money to buy one piece of camping gear there so I'm slowly building my camping arsenal.  Two years ago I bought a 3-person tent (I still haven't used it).  Last year I bought a sleeping bag.  And this year, yesterday, I bought a sleeping pad.  It seems to me that I'm pretty near ready to actually make a go of it.

I'm thinking that my first camping adventure should be somewhere near my house.  Just in case.  In case I can't set up the tent.  Or in case I change my mind. Or in case I forget something and need to go home and get it.  Like a TV, or my laptop, or dinner. 

That's a lot of words to say that I got another piece of camping gear yesterday and I hope to actually be able to use it soon without putting my life at risk.

This will be my last bit of quiet time for several weeks.  Here's my upcoming schedule for the next 10 days:

• March 13-14, San Francisco.  Jamison and I have follow-up meetings with Out and Equal about some exciting partnership things we're discussing for TransEducate.

• March 15-16. Berkeley, CA.  Transgender Leadership Conference.  Jamison and I are giving the closing plenary on Sunday titled "What's Next? Building the Movement for Transgender Equality"

• March 17.  Fly to NYC for the GLAAD Media Awards there.

• March 18.  University of Delaware.  I'm talking about current events and politics as part of Trans Week there.

• March 19.  Fly home.

It may not come as a surprise that the weekend is half over and I haven't started my taxes yet. Sigh.

I had hoped to go for some number of days without bringing up HRC but apparently that number of days won't start now.  On Feb. 26 I wrote the following:

Two of these four were added to the Business Council very, very quietly early last week so they could participate in the meeting in DC that happened last Thursday.  There was a conference call last Monday to prepare for all 4 coming on the BC (attended by all 4, Daryl Herrschaft, and HRC Communication Director Brad Luna - I'm wondering why he would be there).  I have been told that the two who were most vocal in their concerns about ENDA on that call were suddenly dumped from the group on Tuesday.  This, despite the fact they had been led to believe that all four would be brought on board.  Coincidence?  Perhaps.  At the very least the way it was handled seems disrespectful and odd.  I feel there's more to this than is being told.
 

Saturday, March 8, 2008

9:00am:   I think I mentioned that I'm planning to do -  or at least to start - my taxes this weekend.  In fact, this is the first weekend that I've been at home in quite a while and the next several weekends are busy as well so if not now, then when?  But the day seems to have filled up on me.  I'm meeting a friend who is visiting to cover some of the baseball spring training for breakfast.  I've got a training at Apple to do some of the video "stuff"' I'm chomping at the bit to start.  I need to go to the fitness center.  Someone from the community who writes to me is visiting for the day and I'd like to meet her for coffee.  And, I'm having dinner with my son.  All in all, I'm having a hard time seeing where taxes fit.

The day already started off quickly.  The water-damage people stopped by to remove some of the huge fans in my back bedroom from the hot water heater leak.  They want to stop by again tomorrow and asked if I'll be around.   I shared that I'm gong to be doing my taxes so depending on when they get here I may already be drinking heavily (just kidding, of course).  We agreed that stopping by earlier, while I'm still lucid, is probably better than later.  :)

 I did want to clarify a couple of things from the note that my friend Julia sent yesterday after her conversation with Joe R. at Barney's office (it's important to be specific abut which Joe we're talking about).

First, Barney's office will not be providing a target list.  There will be a list, and in fact there is already one, but it will not be distributed thru Barney's office.  These things are best discussed one-on-one for obvious reasons.  So, don't sit waiting on some all-inclusive list and don't start getting mad when it doesn't come.  It doesn't work that way.  Call Joe R. in Barney's office to get the names of people near where you live but don't wait for a list.

Second, I need to correct the last paragraph of Julia's note.  Talking to any member of Congress is not a waste and nobody wants to discourage those face-to-face conversations.  Joe didn't say that to her.  Rather, it's important to be aware of who is most likely to vote with us and to target our efforts accordingly.  People in Congress with a zero score on HRC's Congressional Scorecard will not be voting for any version of ENDA.  That's just the way it is.  So, prioritizing efforts on where to put more of your energy is more likely to have actual impact when it comes to positive votes on ENDA. 

Some in our community continue to be skeptical of Barney and I certainly respect that.  At this point I'm cautiously optimistic, but I'm comfortable with the conversations that are happening and the efforts under way.  Each of us has got to make up our own mind in that regard. However, as I mentioned earlier in the week the real test isn't measured by what anyone says, it's by what they do.  So, I urge those who want to move forward to test the waters and to make their decisions accordingly. 

On another note, one cool thing I'll share.  Believe it or not there is a "vault" that contains a wide variety of articles, broadcasts, blogs, etc. that come out every day that have something to do with GLBT.  For example, the Nightline segment on the transitioning executive at Microsoft that I mentioned yesterday is there.  Dozens of articles come out every day and are put into this "vault".  As part of the Board of GLAAD I get access to this vault so every day I can watch the various media clips or read the various stories to see what is happening out there in media-land with regards to GLBT stuff.  It's fascinating.  I get an email from the vault every day telling me what has been added from the previous day, and when I first joined the board they warned me that watching all this stuff and reading everything could become addictive.  Thankfully, my life has very little room for anything addictive but it's a great tool. 

That said, it's time to get the day going. 

Friday, March 7, 2008

9:00pm:   Did I mention that the hot water heater in the house I'm renting had a leak last week?  I went into the back bedroom while I was packing to go to Harvard and the carpet in the closet was wet.  The hot water heater is in the garage, on the other side of the wall, and had leaked to the point that the puddle had seeped thru the wall.  Not good.  I don't know a single thing about hot water heaters but I know a lot about wet so every day this week there have been people here with blowers, fixing drywall, and whatever else you do to prevent long-term water damage.  What a mess.

There are a couple of things to mention tonight before I have a glass of wine and some pasta to unwind. 

I've had a number of people contact me today who have noticed that I've talked quite a bit about improving the relationship with Congressman Frank over the past several days but haven't said much if anything about HRC.   There's a reason for that.  I don't have anything to say.  Nothing has changed.  Business as usual.  I'll just leave it at that for now. 

I uploaded an article to Bilerico today that was largely based on my entry here from a couple of days ago (A Time for Every Purpose).  It's about letting go of anger - something I'm actively working on doing.  I'm doing my taxes this weekend so my relief from anger could be short-lived (just joking!) but focusing in more productive ways has been good.  I hope it continues.

Another contributor at Bilerico, and a respected peer, is Marti Abernathy.  She wrote a very unfair article today about Mara Keisling that included snippets from this blog.  There are people who attack Mara no matter what she says or does so I expected that the boo-birds would come out following the most recent article in the Gay City News but I didn't expect it from Marti.  When I saw the banner of this article (The Many Faces of Mara Keisling: The Death of United ENDA?) and read the supporting text I just had to scratch my head and say, "huh??!?".  Mara has one of the hardest jobs that I know and she does it capably and tirelessly on a meager budget.  She's respected and admired by her peers.  And, she's funny.   In a word, she's irreplaceable.  The day she decides that she's had enough of the crap she deals with, who is going to step in and do her job half as well as she does?  That's a serious problem just waiting to happen because I fear the line of applicants will be a short one.

The good news is that the comments about this post are universally supportive of Mara and the wonderful work she is doing.  Sometimes you have to be attacked to see how many friends you really have (Lord don't I know).  Many of the commentors seem to  have the same question that I do.  Huh??!!

I feel a need to really be clear here.  If we hope to see an inclusive ENDA come before Congress anytime soon the goal has got to be to ensure 220 votes by 2010.  We can go through any number of what-if scenarios in our minds but the one sure thing is to ensure that 220 legislators are comfortable enough with "transgender" by the time ENDA realistically has a chance of passing.  Barney has challenged us to help make this happen and my posts here have encouraged us - individually and collectively - to answer that call.  It's that simple.  If Congressman Frank can use his influence to open doors for us we need to be ready to walk through it, not stand to argue about last fall or before.  Is it as clear to you as it is to me?  If we wait until a month before the vote or two months before the vote - who believes that we'll have a realistic chance of moving people?  Not me.  That work starts now.

I got an email from my friend Julia in San Antonio who took the initiative to call and talk to Joe Racalto today.  She wrote me about their conversation and asked me to post it here:

There you go.  That's the game plan.  I'd love to go state by state by state to go on these visits.  Just tell me when and where....

Speaking of Lobbying, HRC had its Lobby Day yesterday.  And NCTE will have it's Lobby Day on April 14-15 in Washington DC (register here).  I'll be there.  I expect that Elizabeth will be there.  I'm working to get corporate sponsorship to fund a "wrap party" after all the lobbying on the 15th so stay tuned on that.  And, if you want to go but need a room-mate to cut down on expenses write to me and I'll be happy to send you the contact info for others in the same boat.  Besides being important work, it's just a fun time. 

Is there more happening in the world outside of ENDA and politics?  Of course there is. 

• The Harvard Law School newspaper published an article about last weekend's TransLaw Conference (read it here).

• ABC News will do a story about a transitioning executive at Microsoft on Nightline tonight titled, "Transgender Executive: 'Just a different person now than I was then'."  In addition, Megan has a blog titled M( ): From Michael to Megan.

• My dear friend from the Denver area, Karen Bachman, was Ethan St. Pierre's guest on TransFM last Sunday night.  The audio of the interview is available online.   Karen is another of us who didn't start out with any intention of becoming an activist.  I remember when she came to visit me here in AZ a few years ago and we'd talk about this stuff.  Now, she's a dynamo!

Speaking of Denver, you might remember the article titled "7 year old Transvestites in Public Schools" that appeared in a magazine called "Gayzette"  - I printed it in it's disgusting entirety yesterday.  The publishers of Gayzette sent a retraction notice today:

You're kidding, right?  That article was supposed to be funny?  Did is seem to have any ounce of anything resembling humor to anyone?  The only thing that surprises me more than the fact that a GLBT magazine would actually print such a thing is that someone somewhere thought it was funny.  Now that's scary.
 

Thursday, March 6, 2008

5:45pm:   It feels almost weird to be home before 6pm, when it's actually still light outside.  I put in 10 hours at work on Monday, 12 hours on Tuesday, 10 hours again yesterday - all work and no pay makes Donna a dull puppy.  I've mentioned in the past that the project I'm managing is monstrously huge and I could very well spend more time there doing things that need doing.  I'm trying to regain my "balance" so I need to reclaim some of the rest of my week.  I'm planning to do my taxes this weekend and already have Margarita mix ready.  It's dual-purpose - to celebrate or to dull the pain.  :)

I'm going to be the guest on Becky Juro's radio show in about half an hour or so.  I expect that it will be a good discussion and perhaps even yield some surprises.  If I Becky puts a copy of it online, or if I can get a copy, I'll be sure to put a link to it here for those who are interested but who miss it.

10:00pm:  OK.  I'm done.  That went well.  We talked for almost 2 hours which is probably too much Donna, but I think it was a productive and constructive conversation. 

Anyway, I've got three things for today....

First, New York State has become the poster-child for the "incremental" strategy strategy of adding discrimination protections.  A non-inclusive statewide version of ENDA (called SONDA) was passed there in 2001, and led to a bitter division in the state. To this day, gender identity has still not been added although the drumbeat to finally make the bill whole is getting louder.  A survey released yesterday by the Empire State Pride Agenda indicates that a wide majority of New Yorkers (78%) support adding transgender discrimination protections (details here).  This is a big deal. 

The Pride Agenda's Lobby Day (called LGBT Equality and Justice Day) is on April 29 in Albany.  It's our opportunity to lobby legislators to finally pass this bill. I will be the Speaker at the lunchtime rally and will be lobbying with delegations from Rochester and/or Buffalo so if you can get there please join us.  People always ask me how they can get involved to make a difference.  This is how.

Second, Gay City News printed an article today about NCTE Director Mara Keisling.  A snippet:

During my interview with Becky Juro tonight she asked me if I believe that last statement and I told her, unequivocally, that yes I do. 

These last couple of days have been a refreshing change.  We've all known that at some point wounds would need to scab over so that things could begin to move forward again.  I've talked in the past about the vacuum of communication that has been so frustrating as of late.  That seems to be lifting, and whereas relationships have been irrevocably altered by what has happened I don't believe it has all been bad.  In fact, finding and building upon the good is truly the most important thing, and the only way to make the most of the historic opportunities at hand.

That leads me to point number three.  I got a follow-up email today from Barney Frank's office about my blog entry yesterday.  Apparently several people have taken my advice and written to thank him for his support for HB1722 and for the upcoming Congressional Hearings.  It's still not too late to write if you'd like to.

One of the key things I discussed yesterday with Joe, his Sr. Policy Advisor, was the need to identify what people can do to focus their energies in productive ways. 

I urge anyone who wants to talk about Barney's record, about ENDA, about what you can do to help, about life in general - to call Joe Racalto (don't call me!).  His phone number is at the bottom and I respect him for putting it there.  He assured me that he won't duck any of the issues and I'm confident that's true.  He seems more than willing to have the personal conversations that seem to have been missing for so long.  You may or may not agree with him, but that can't be the goal.  The goal has got to be to find constructive ways to move forward together.  Call Joe and don't be too hard on him because he is not your enemy.  Ask him who to talk with.  Ask him what to say.  And then go out and have those conversations in a respectful, civilized way.  Today.  Tomorrow.  Next week.  Next month.  That's what will make a difference.

Let me be clear.  I am not espousing to forgive and forget as that's far too simple an answer to a very difficult question.  For many it's not even an option and I respect that.  I am, however, suggesting to collectively regroup, to move forward from today, to keep things in perspective, and to be involved.  I'm open to options, though.  If you've got other strategies that you think would work as well or better to get to a fully inclusive ENDA please send them my way.  I'm happy to share them....

Lastly, here is an article running in the current edition of a Denver GLBT newspaper called "Gayzette".  It's about the trans 2nd grader there that made the news several weeks ago.

This kind of crude, disgusting ignorance is the real enemy.  That's what we're up against. 
 

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

9:30pm:   People who have visited this blog for any length of time have come to know that I write what I'm feeling.  Part of the beauty of my life in recent years is that I've reconnected with emotions that I had feared had long since died from atrophy and neglect.  I don't know what happens more - if I control my emotions or if they control me.  For better or for worse, I'm an emotional, passionate person an if you've ever met me you'll know that I'm that way in person, too.  Some consider emotion as a sign of frailty or weakness.  Not me.  I consider it to be a critical component of my humanity.

When I originally started this Blog back in 2004 very few people had ever heard of me and I was sure that very few ever would.  I had no intention of putting myself out there and even if I did I wouldn't have known where to start.  I started this blog as simply my way of showing visitors to my little website that it was active, that it hadn't been abandoned, that someone was home.  I remembered how helpful the websites of people who came before me were in my own journey of self-acceptance, so giving back by sharing online seemed to be fairly easy and harmless.  Much has changed since then.

When I share thru my blog I talk about how I'm feeling.  I talk about things that are relevant to people like me - whatever that means - or at least would provide some mix of news, insight, opinion, day-to-day experience, and hopefully - some humor.  I've installed Google Analytics on the site and the volume of people who come here regularly is absolutely amazing.  The fewest number of visitors here since the beginning of the year for any given day is 508 (which happened on Feb. 15 - must have been a hang-over from Valentine's Day).  The average is substantially more.  And the most is more than double that. Just under 80% of the traffic here is direct traffic, meaning that they have a favorite or a shortcut somewhere and come straight to this page.  Only 11% of people find my blog through a search engine - and even when they do I'll bet they were looking for something else and happened to end up here (I've met two other Donna Roses here - they Googled themselves and ended up on my site).  People from 93 different countries have been here.  It's just mind-blowing to see how it has grown.

I've got to say that it's a little unnerving at times, as well.  Things you say can become larger than they were meant to be.  Things can be misconstrued, or cause hurt without even knowing.  There's a line somewhere between what to share and what not to share that I think I walk fairly well.  I'm sure I cross that line from time to time but you usually don't know those things until after the fact.  It's funny to go to an event where people know where you've been, or what you're thinking, or how you're feeling.  And, it's humbling to have a world of faceless friends that you don't even know you have.

A couple of things happened in the past couple of days that need discussion here.  Neither is particularly earth-shattering in and of themselves, but when considered together help to put things into perspective.  That's the thing that gets lost sometimes - perspective - and it's nice to find things help to get that back.  That's why I enjoy going to the Grand Canyon so much because no matter what and no matter where - anything that's happening in your life that seems all-consuming or overwhelming somehow seems insignificant in the big scheme of things.  So, these two things aren't quite Grand-Canyon large but I appreciate both of them for different reasons.

First, I'll talk about a post on Bilerico.com yesterday.  It was written by the 'Bil' in Bilerico (Bil Browning) and is titled, "Let's rewind and start over".  As you may remember I was recently asked to be a contributor there and I've shared two entries so far. Anyway, it talked about the fact that perceived Trans related entries there tend to get horribly, nastily, onslaughtingly flamed.  There's no need to make these things personal.  Somehow, it always seems to get that way, though.

I'll be honest.  I don't read my comments.  There's a reason that there isn't a comments section here because if you want to say something about what I'm writing you need to write to me directly - there's no opportunity for hit and run stuff.  If I do move this to a more "bloggy" platform as I've threatened to do and even started to do I won't allow comments there, either.  One of two things will happen.  Either it'll puff your ego or it'll make you angry. To be perfectly honest, neither of those works for me.  I don't subscribe to a single listserv, Yahoo Group, social network, or other forum where I'd need to deal with that either.  It's not healthy.

But there is an underlying theme that needs to be discussed and actually respected, and that's that there is a lot of anger out there right now.  There are a lot of very mad, very frustrated, very disillusioned people (including yours truly) who have a chip on their shoulder about something and are hyper-sensitive.  It's easy to cause these people to lash out (guilty as charged, your honor) because the fuse is very short and with good reason. 

One reaction by others who witness it, and one that seems to be particularly prevalent right now, is to say "Grow up and get over it" and to trivialize it.  This does little to address it and, in fact, often makes it worse.  On one hand we have the angry people and on another we have the "deal with it" people and it's like a flame and gasoline.  However, I have come to consider my anger over the way that events over these past several months have impacted my life as almost like a grieving process.  There are stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance that people go through when dealing with situations that cause a significant sense of loss.  My mom went through the stages when I transitioned.  And, I'm still going through them now (as are many of us).  Our outbursts are actually part of the healing.

The problem, though, and this is important - is that much of this anger has no place to go.  There's no way to focus it in healthy ways so it stays as anger and it's not good for anyone.  Many of us have spoken about the need to find constructive ways to focus our anger but as of yet that remains a significant problem.  Many of us can't let it go.

There was an Op/Ed piece by George Will last year that I cut out and saved and is usually here on my desk somewhere.  It's titled "Anger is all the Rage" and the sub-title explains, "Once upon a time Americans admired models of self-control.  Today, however, proclaiming anger - the more vituperative the better - is regarded as a sign of good character and emotional vitality."   A passage from it:

I find this to be fascinating stuff, and oh so true.  Apply it to the blogosphere.  Apply it to the posting on Bilerico.  Apply it to my own writing sometimes....you'll see it in action.

Anyway, that brings me to the second event of today.  I received an email from Barney Frank's office.  He wrote in response to some recent comments I've made here and is his effort to set the record straight.  He challenged me to share his comments here, in their entirety, and I have absolutely no problem doing that:

I have several things to say...

First, I loved this.  My biggest complaint (really - my BIGGEST one) in recent weeks has been the lack of communication.  I followed up on this email by making a call to Rep. Frank's office today an had a productive, spirited conversation with his Senior Policy Advisor, Joe.  We talked about a number of things and - guess what - I enjoyed our chat and in fact hope it's the first of several.  I told him that if conversations like this had been happening way back in September perhaps we'd be in a better place than we are now.  But they weren't happening - no blame there - and I'm still bitter about that (not at Barney, tho).

During our conversation, and when considering it afterwards, I concluded that I may have been unfair in adding my emotion after sharing Barney's statement in support of adding transgender protections in HB1722.  As I say - I'm an emotional being and it just comes out.  In fact, I'm taking what Bil said about all the flaming to Bilerico to heart - Let's rewind and start over. I'm wiping the slate clean and staring fresh with him because clinging to my anger isn't doing anyone any good.  I need to finish that grieving and move on.  That's not to say I'm not wary, or cautious.  It's to say I'll do my best to work from today forward and we'll see where things go.

I asked Joe to thank Rep. Frank for his words and for his support (from yesterday's entry).  I thanked him for what he is doing to arrange the historic Congressional testimony being planned for sometime next month just as I think many of us should.  We both agreed that we all want the same things - so I offered to help.  I asked him what I personally and what we as transgender people can do to constructively channel our emotion.  And I told him that I hope we can look back at these days and weeks in times ahead as a turning point.

I cannot be sorry for how I feel.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - what happened is personal to many of us.  However, I respect that Barney took the time to write (even though he did insult me, which I don't take personally because he used the right pronoun) because it's something. 

During our conversation today HRC came up several times.  Joe went out of his way to assure me that HRC is taking the lead in these hearings in many ways.  As far as our community is concerned I'll take his word for it and let it all unfold....

But as far as Rep. Frank and I go - we're back on square one as far as I'm concerned.  I won't argue about whether or not the votes were there.  I won't doubt that you were championing transgender inclusion.  None of that matters today - in 2008.  When I look at my "What have you done for us lately" cheat sheet I see that you've provided significant support in MA for HB1722 and you're doing historic things by scheduling this hearing.  If you believe, as I do, that people deserve credit for the good things they do then write to him and tell him so (tell him you saw it here!): joe.racalto@mail.house.gov.  If everyone who reads this sends an email that's upwards of a thousand emails.  And if everyone tells just one friend.....you get the picture. (Don't send hate mail - just a short 'thank you' will do fine).

I'll tell you from experience - supportive emails make a big difference.  It's easy to get battle-fatigue and to feel very unappreciated when all you get is email about the things you do that others don't like.  The good ones can be uplifting, and can be very empowering.  Here's one I received tonight as I was typing this:

Letters like this are why we do what we do, why I'm willing to look to the future, and why I remain hopeful about tomorrow.  Maybe someday I'll even get a nice one from Congressman Frank.  :)
 

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

9:30pm:   I just got home after 12 hours at work.  That, on top of the fact that the hot water heater is leaking and there's a guy in the garage replacing it as I type, continue to make this a long day. 

There were a couple of interesting things today worth mentioning.

HRC had whittled the number of potential transgender HRC Business Council members down to 4, and all have been talking as a group over the past few weeks.  When I chatted with Diego at Harvard over the weekend he suggested that the end result would "not be a party of four", and he was right.  The finalists were announced today:

Monday, March 3, 2008

11:10pm:   Today is March 3. Elizabeth had her FFS on 3/3/03 and it amazes me it was only 5 years ago. These milestones come and go to reminds us of how life can change so drastically in a relatively short period of time. 

Speaking of change, I was talking about the broad range of support that we're suddenly finding in GLB and mainstream organizations as demonstrated by the groups attending the TransLaw conference at Harvard.  It's truly remarkable.  The latest is a news report out of Boston about House Bill 1722, a bill that would provide discrimination protections for transgender people in the state (a state that has same-sex marriage, mind you).  Things were pretty quiet for HB 1722 until recently when the Coalition for Marriage and Family got wind of it and decided that people needed to be afraid of it.  They started the same men in the woman's bathrooms, our kids won't be safe, perverts mantra that others have used in hope of whipping up support to kill this bill, which comes up for discussion in Committee tomorrow (Tuesday).  This time, though, things are different.  Two well respected Women's organizations (including the National Organization for Women) jumped into the fray by releasing a wonderful statement of support today:

I don't know that any of us can truly appreciate what this kind of support can provide.

I did a good interview with Gunnar Scott from the Mass. Transgender Political Coalition who is helping to lead this charge while we were both at Harvard over the weekend.  I expect to have some new video online before the end of the weekend and I hope that there is some good new to share by then.

Speaking of good news, tomorrow is Primary day in Ohio and Texas.  My mom called tonight to tell me who she's voting for.  There's an article in the Advocate talking about the last minute push for the GLBT community vote (read it here).  It'll be interesting to see where things stand at this time tomorrow night.

And last for tonight, there was apparently a recent episode of Law and Order SVU that involved a pre-op transsexual character (thanks for sending this, Angie).  You can watch a short-cut video of it here.  It has particular relevance because it combines many of the unfortunate experiences we discussed at the TransLaw conference. Violence.  Falling into a prison system that separates people based on genitals.  Disrespect.  Rejection. I found one gal online who blogged about the episode and how it made her feel: Read Heather's Blog.  Heather rocks.
 

Sunday, March 2, 2008

10:00pm:   It feels like it's so much later than it is.  Maybe that's because my time zones are all screwed up because of all this cross-country travel.  I'll be heading to bed shortly.

The trip home was uneventful and I was out front, picking weeks that had the nerve to poke their heads through the gravel that is my front yard, by 3pm.  It's nice to be home.

Phyllis Frye, Gunnar Scott, Lee and Sarah (organizers), me, Diego Sanchez

I wrote about the Conference in my latest post to Bilerico: TransLaw at Harvard: Discussions of Law, Justice and Equality. 

This was the first time I used my little 3-chip video camera and I'm excited to see what the output is like.  I'll try to find some time to play around a little and get something available sometime soon. 

There was a profile of Colorado trans teen in the Rocky Mountain News today (It's Me In a Different Way).  Congratulations to Melaina and her family. 

My friend, Karen Bachman, was Ethan St. Pierre's guest on TransFM tonight and I'll post a link to their discussion once he's got it available.  I talked with Becky Juro today and confirmed that I'll be a guest on her show on Thursday night.  We've been talking about doing this for a couple of years now so I'm almost incredulous that it's actually going to happen.  This should be an interesting conversation.
 

Saturday, March 1, 2008

11:00pm:   I had one of those "Oh, crap" moments tonight.  I called the airline to see if I could change my 6pm flight home tomorrow to an earlier one only to realize that the travel agency that made the reservations made the flight for tonight, not tomorrow.  Since it was almost 10 at that point and the flight left at 6 I had missed it so there were a few tense minutes about how to pay the extra $500+ to re-book it.  Thankfully, everything seems to be working itself out and it looks like I'll be home tomorrow afternoon.

It has been a good conference.  I video taped pretty much the entire thing because these conversations are too important to constrain to only the people fortunate enough to be in the room.  This was an amazing collection of leaders - attorneys, activists, supporters - and these opportunities are few and far between.  I also took some time to interview a few of the participants about specific things and am looking forward to making those available.  Stay tuned.

I've written something for Bilerico on the conference and will upload that tomorrow.  Stay tuned on that, too.

In an ironic twist, I'm here in Boston and Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank is in Scottsdale today.  He did an interview on Phoenix radio in conjunction with our local GLBT organization Equality Arizona (listen to it here).  He talks about ENDA for several minutes and shares something I've been talking about for several weeks now.  They're currently planning to hold hearings in Congress specifically about transgender workplace issues in April.  Whereas original plans were to tightly control those hearings, Rep. Frank has largely turned over control of gathering the stories to NCTE/Mara Keisling (who's home in DC with pneumonia).  Mara has been diligently working with many of us to identify potential speakers who can come to Washington DC to speak and I expect she'll be finalizing that to give to Barney shortly. 

I'm hopeful that the hearings overlap NCTE Lobby Day on April 14-15 but the logistical plans for the hearings are still being worked so we'll see if that comes to pass.  The good news is that the group that will be presenting will be a representative group instead of a group hand-picked by someone else.  It won't be speaking in support of any particular bill (ie. ENDA Lite), but will be a broader educational opportunity for Congress.  And,  it will be historic.  All in all it has tremendous potential.  I just hope nobody mucks it up and lessens what this can and should be.

The things that continues to kill me is that he uses the phrase "People with Transgender" all the time.  It's like people with cancer, or people with pimples.  It's not a condition, Barney.  Personally, I have no problem with people with gay but we need to do some serious education with our "friends" before we unleash them on others.  Sheesh.

That sucking sound you hear is my friends at HRC preparing to love up big time to Barack Obama.  Although they haven't officially endorsed anyone yet HRC's love-fest with HRC has been the topic of conversation by many since before last year's March Board Meeting where Hillary came to speak to us.  Well, unless a miracle happens  in Ohio and Texas on Wednesday it's pretty much all over but the yelling. HRC took a calculated guess and missed so they're most likely going to be eating a ton of crow over the next few weeks because of it.  I'd put my money on a hunch that Barack will be the featured speaker at this year's March HRC Board Meeting, which will be happening next weekend.  It'll be all love and kisses -  just watch.  You heard it here first.

I spent some time at this conference talking with Phyllis Frye, a person who needs no introduction for many.  We've spoken at conferences before but never had time to "bond", and one of the highlights of this conference for me was getting to spend some time with her and her wife.  Phyllis is part of the Houston GLBT Caucus and they arranged to talk personally with both Barack and Hillary last week as part of the screening process before making an official endorsement.  She says that Barack came across better, hands down, on our issues and was thrilled to see that they voted to endorse Sen. Obama (narrowly). 

Fellow activist, Bilerico editor, and radio-show host Rebecca Juro doesn't know it yet but I'm going to accept her invitation and see if I can be on her weekly Thursday night radio show next week.  We've been trying to connect for quite a while now but I'm never at home on Thursdays so it hasn't worked.  This coming week is the lone exception so I'll see if she can fit me in - otherwise it'll be several more weeks  We've talked about doing this for quite a while and I expect it to be a good discussion - more to come on that, too.

Dana Beyer has caused quite the stir in Montgomery County, MD.  Right wing groups there are trying to overturn a unanimous decision late last year to add gender-identity to county non-discrimination ordinances.  They've collected 30,000 signatures in an attempt to add it to the ballot in November.  The problem is that they've mischaracterized what people are actually signing and Dana "confronted" them at a signature gathering table outside a local grocery store.  They posted some video on YouTube of Dana being unhappy and made her the target for all their misguided hateful anger.  Anyway, Autumn Sundeen talks about it all on Pam's House Blend (read the story).  The good news is that the Task Force (with the help of others) is going through the list signature by signature to validate them.  Stay tuned on that mess....

There is a similar state-wide law coming up to bat here in MA, and one in Connecticut shortly.  The MA proposition (HB1722) faces its first significant hurdle this coming Tuesday when it will be argued in committee (details here).  It will be a historic event (it seems like we're having quite a few those these days) and I wish I could be here to attend.  Those who are unhappy at the prospect of transgender people actually being treated with some level of decency and respect are already mobilizing around the bathroom issue. 

That's enough for one night.  I've got a couple thousand miles to travel tomorrow so I need to get some rest.  It's already after midnight.
 

Thursday, February 28, 2008

10:00pm:   I'm in Boston tonight, and whereas the weather back home is delightful the 20 degree weather here brought back memories of many winters past. Brrrrrr.....There's a Winter Storm Watch for tonight and they're expecting anywhere between 3 and 9 inches of snow depending on where you are.  Yuck.

I had dinner with Phyllis Frye and her wife of 35 yearsTrish, Kylar Broadus, and my friend Joann Herman tonight.  We're at Harvard to participate in the Trans Law Conference here tomorrow and Saturday.  It was nice to finally have a chance to spend some time with Phyllis.  Usually whenever we find ourselves in the same place at the same time things are moving too quickly to get much one-on-one time.  It was a delightful way to end the day, and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open as I type this.  There are a few things to mention tonight before I crawl into bed.

The first is that Barack Obama has stepped up the pressure in unprecedented ways today as he and Hillary Clinton face looming showdowns in Ohio and Texas.  Barack released an open letter to the GLBT community (read it on Bilerico).  For my money, the first sentence of the second paragraph says it all: "Equality is a moral imperative."  It is.  Don't talk to me about incrementalism or political strategy or "staying at the table".  Getting there takes guts and leadership and I've got to give him credit for making such a strong statement.  Hillary made her own statement at the beginning of the month (read it here) but somehow that seems like old news right now. 

Barack is also taking out very flashy full-page color ads in several targeted GLBT publications in both states, starting tomorrow (see details here).  He has quickly taken the offensive for the GLBT community in ways that are leaving some in the Clinton campaign scrambling.  It's fascinating to see.

I wouldn't be surprised if the coup de grace comes next weekend.  The March HRC Board meetings in Washington DC combine a Lobby Day, Leadership training for steering committee members from around the country, and special events/speakers to energize and galvanize the collected throng of HRC family.  Last year Hillary Clinton was the featured speaker.  Who do you think the high profile speaker this year will be?  Would anyone be shocked if it's Mr. Obama??  I wouldn't  This entire build of of outreach to the GLBT community would reach a natural crescendo there. Plus, I think HRC will be scrambling to get into his good graces. 

Speaking of my friends at HRC, I couldn't help but laugh to see that they've been nominated for a "Pink Brick Award" by the San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration Committee.  The Bay Area Reporter reports about it:

This is priceless. And, you gotta love that photo of Joe in the article.  I wonder how hard they had to look to find one with that look on his face - maybe it was after his meeting with the Trans Community there last month.  Or maybe it's when he realized that credibility can't be regained as easily as it's lost.  Again.....priceless.

Changing gears:  Ellen DeGeneres talked about the murder of Lawrence King today.  She spoke emotionally about it on her show today (watch it here).  I'd quibble about the fact that she didn't mention anything at all about gender variance but arguing details seems to trivialize the importance of the message. 

And now....time for bed.
 

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

9:00pm:   It was brilliantly sunny and 82 degrees here today, and is supposed to hover around the high 70's and low 80's thru the weekend.  This is our springtime.  Of course, I'll be in Boston for that stretch where there are several more weeks of winter to go but such is life. 

I worked all day so it's not like I had time to enjoy it.  When I get there the sun is just coming up and when I leave it's just going down.  Crazy.

I've been going thru some interesting "stuff" in my head lately.  I don't really want to get into it all right now but I'm apparently at a stage where I need to start setting some deeper roots and to begin looking to the future a little more.  I had an interview for another job on Monday and got an offer from them on Tuesday - a contract to hire opportunity.  I had a discussion with my director - who I really like and respect, by the way - about it today and we talked about potential opportunities where I am.  I felt comfortable about things, and when we finished chatting his last words were, "Don't do anything rash, k?"  I won't.

I also applied for a job out of state that, if it comes to pass, will be a huge deal.  I don't really have much more to say about that right now - it's way too premature.

The Windy City Times printed an extended interview with HRC Prez Joe Solmonese today.  Here's a portion of it:

The interview speaks for itself, and I've talked about HRC more than enough for one week so I'll leave it alone.  Except the part where he claims that HRC is somehow a victim of its own success, and that they got lucky with hate crimes.  I feel a need to clarify that.  The reason he says they were lucky is that the Republicans didn't offer a Motion to Recommit that would strip gender identity from the hate crimes bill.  That was the big concern - both with Hate Crimes and with ENDA - as nobody knew what the outcome of that would be.  It didn't come to pass (that's the "lucky" part).  Ironically, it was simply the fear that it could come to pass with ENDA that set things into motion to the point where they didn't need to even get that far - our "friends" did the dirty work preemptively.

Speaking of preemptive - PRIDE month is typically June.  The way this year has been zooming by it'll be here before you know it.  I mention this because it often provides a good opportunity to arrange for GLBT speakers at workplaces and in other areas that might not typically feature these topics.  It's good to have an anchor, and often times PRIDE month is that anchor.

At Dell our Diversity Office celebrated PRIDE month by putting up signs and paying for a speaker to come.  One year we had Ellen DeGeneres' mom, who attracted several hundred people to her talk.  The reason I share this now it that perhaps you can work whatever needs to be worked at your workplace to arrange for a transgender person to speak during PRIDE month.  Or, a panel of transgender people.  Often times HR people or Diversity folks don't even stop to think about this until someone mentions it.  That someone could be you, and the speakers could run the gamut from the local support group all the way to nationally recognized speakers.  The key is to create the opportunity. The rest is just the details.

My friend, Nikki, from Detroit wrote up her workplace transition and forwarded for me to share.  I've added it to my Our Stories page.  If there's anyone who wants to share their story there - all you need to do is send it along.
 

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

9:30pm:   I won't be able to make it to Kalamazoo tomorrow.  The logistics of it got very complicated today to the point that the best possible outcome would be to reschedule to another date in the very near future.  I'm hopeful that can be done - I'll keep you posted.

From the HUGE HONOR Department: I was recently asked to be one of 3 co-chairs for the Out and Equal Workplace Summit to be held in my ex hometown of Austin, TX on Sept 10-13.  It's my favorite conference event each year and I've attended since 2003.  I've seen it grow from 500 people to almost 2,000 and I'm thrilled to accept this tremendous honor.  If you can possibly attend - do it.  It's a transformative experience.

I feel a need to elaborate on something I said yesterday.  Specifically, I want to comment on this:

Monday, February 25, 2008

9:30pm:   Mondays are long days.  Actually, most days seem to be long lately. 

I want to thank everyone from the event at Roanoke for their wonderful kindness and hospitality to both Elizabeth and I.  We took a couple of photos (see left). I can't imagine having things like that available to me as a student.  When I went to college all those many long years ago they didn't have events, or support, or community like that.  Elizabeth and I sat at breakfast with a couple of the guys (who are younger than my son) who explained to us about "Drag Bingo" - apparently something that's very popular on their campus.  Drag Bingo??!  That's something I'll need to see for myself one of these days... My friend Hailey from the Washington DC area was there and it was nice to see her, as always.  On Sunday she sent me some of her thoughts on the conference - the main theme of which was community - and I'm happy to share them here for those who are interested. A couple of friends from the other side of the state made the trip to Roanoke and it was nice to see them there as well.  They gave me a coffee cup decorated with a rose and one of my quotes from Southern Comfort a couple of years ago: "My Social Consciousness is a HUGE pain in the ass."  It's very cool!  Thanks so much to them for that... There's a news story from a Houston television station about a transsexual police sergeant there (See it here).  It's well done for a news story. The National Center for Transgender Equality announced the dates of their 2008 Lobby Day (April 14-15) in Washington DC.  Last year's event was something I won't forget - Elizabeth and I and Elizabeth's 80-something year old grandmother Dee were marching around on Capitol Hill in support of Hate Crimes and ENDA.  I'm going to try to get back there again for this and I'd recommend it for anyone who can get there.  Anyway, details of the event are here. Lastly, if you live anywhere near NYC and want to sit at our table for the GLAAD Media Awards there on March 17 let me know.  After March 5 they start to fill empty spots with whoever they want.  GLAAD is doing some wonderful work, and they certainly know how to throw a party.  It'll be here before you know it.

12:30am:   I suppose technically it's Monday already.  My flight landed here in Phoenix at 11, I made it home ok.  I cleaned up and unpacked a bit, and I'm catching up on email for a few minutes in hopes of winding down.

I mentioned in my last hurried update that I expected more detail of just what happened at the HRC Dinner in NYC on Saturday would become available soon.  There's an article in the Gay City News that I think helps to drive home just how much damage HRC has done to its credibility.  According to the report, not a single elected official in NYC attended the event.  For a "political" organization, this sends a significant message.  Some excerpts:

I think another telling thing is that in the video blog that I shared yesterday, the man who attended the event said things that I agree with word for word.  The fact that people in the larger GLB community see through what happened is, again, telling:

Reprehensible.  Yes, it is.  Incredulous.  Yes, me too.

One of the main ironies in Joe's comments is that he's trying to charge that the rest of the community isn't being patient (blame the victim?).  Au contraire.  The organization not being patient here is HRC.  They're the ones willing to fracture the community in the rush to get something passed, even if it's a symbolic and largely empty victory.  I'm fully convinced that history will unmask what happened for what it really was and that a shift in the balance of power is in the offing.  I expect to be proven more right than I want to be.

I am preparing my next Bilerico article and it will deal with some of the behind-the-scenes things that happened during ENDA that need to be told.  Very few people know the details that I do, and I haven't had a single person from HRC reach out to me to talk, to share, to have an honest discussion about what happened.  Not one.  In fact, I call people that I have come to consider friends inside the organization and my calls don't get returned any more.  Not from anyone.   Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter in this continuing fascinating drama.

There's a recent article in the Southern Voice reporting on the closed-door United ENDA session at Creating Change that I mentioned:

Another interesting thing....The largest bequest ever made to the GLBT community was recently made by the estate of Ric Weiland, one of the first 5 employees at Microsoft.  He left an astounding $46 million to a number of organizations.  These organizations include:

• amfAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research

• Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)

• Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)

• In The Life

• International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC)

• Lambda Legal

• National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

• Project Inform

• Servicemembers Legal Defense Network

Mr. Weiland's estate explained: "Mr. Weiland took the care to identify the organizations he felt could best serve the community now and in the future."   Do you see a significant name missing from that list?  I do. (read details here).  Somehow, I envision the HRC working overtime on how to spin this.  No matter how they do, there's no $$$ in it for them.

It probably sounds like I'm piling on HRC.  I'm not.  I'm holding them accountable, but I'm just not seeing anything to even give them the benefit of a doubt.  A couple of recent examples:

• Just before the ENDA situation I had my annual Board Review with one of the co-chairs.  He asked if I could take it as a task to identify other good board member candidates in the hope that we could further broaden the board demographics by bringing another one on.  After the ENDA mess I sent an email recommending someone in particular who I felt would fit in well there, would do a good job, and who expressed an interest in coming on board even after everything that had happened at that point.  A couple of months later, in early January, I got a call from the Board Co-chair asking if this person was still interested.  I checked with her and - lo and behold - nobody had contacted her to discuss anything.  Even so, the indicated that she'd be interested in talking.  I sent that information on.  Does it surprise you that, as of two weeks ago, nobody from HRC had reached out to her yet?  That's crazy.

• During that discussion with the board co-chair he asked what I thought could be done to help begin the healing.  I indicated that the next Board Meeting was scheduled for March and I thought it would be a good idea for them to invite a number of transgender activist leaders to town to have a frank discussion as part of the Board Meeting.  One thing that continues to be missing is effective communication and I felt (and continue to feel) that providing a face-to-face opportunity between the board and nationally respected leaders would help to get things moving.  Do you think that has been planned?  No.

• The Workplace Project has an updated version of the Transgender In the Workplace: A Tool for Managers.  They want to roll it out sometime in the next month or so.  The problem, though, is that they're aren't any transgender people in the group to provide any credibility.  They're trying to get trans people on board (I previously mentioned that 4 have been identified and asked, and they're currently talking with one another about what to do) as quickly as possible.  Do you think they're willing to reach out to transgender people who aren't officially part of the HRC family to get this important work done and published?  I don't.

If this is "Project Win-Back" in motion then I think it's time to re-huddle, or to punt.  Opportunity after opportunity comes and goes.  If someone on that board or on senior staff were passionate enough to champion it we might see different outcomes.  But the fact that there continues to be this shroud of secrecy, a continuing drive to portray things as business-as-usual, and a constant theme of denial leads me to a single disappointing conclusion.

Balance of power shift.  Reprehensible. All of this evedince is just like global warming - people can find any number of ways to rationalize that it's just a figment of an overactive imagination.  The proof is unfolding as we speak and it will become more and more difficult to deny the obvious.

Lastly for tonight, another of us was murdered on Friday in Ft. Lauderdale (read details here).  It's tragic.  Again.  The education we're talking about needs to do more than simply move votes in Congress.  It needs to stop this tidal wave of hate and violence. 

Time for bed....

Sunday, February 24, 2008

2:00pm:   I'm packing up, getting ready to head to the airport for my flight home.  This trip has gone way too fast.

The folks at Roanoke College were absolutely fantastic.  I was happy with my talk, they got me a birthday cake and everyone sang happy birthday, the people were absolutely wonderful and both Elizabeth and I can't thank everyone enough for their wonderful hospitality.  If anyone who reads this attended and wants to share general thoughts about the conference or any part of it please sent it along.  I'm happy to post it.

The same is true for Colorado Gold Rush, which also happened this week in Denver.  I've heard various reports about how things went but if you attended and want to send your thoughts, an overview, or anything to share I'm happy to post that, as well.  I think it's important to be able to share these important events with more than simply the people fortunate enough to be able to attend.

Speaking about sharing, someone who attended the HRC dinner in NYC last night has already posted his observations and some video of the event on YouTube on his blog (see it here).  I expect that there will be more of these surfacing over the next few days.

Elizabeth and I drove 7 hours after my talk yesterday afternoon and got home before midnight.  We spent the morning with her kids, and took a nice and much needed leisurely walk along the beach.  I find these things to be good "soul food", and have been soaking up as much of it as I can.  I'll have photos of that, too.  All I need is some time to download them and get them up.
 

Saturday, February 23, 2008

9:00am:   I only have a couple of minutes before I need to get going but figured I'd get things caught up here....

As I alluded to in previous posts things have been moving quickly in my world lately - lots of moving parts.  I worked all day Wednesday and caught a late afternoon flight to Charleston.  Somehow it all worked, although we touched down after midnight which was over an hour late.  Elizabeth was a trooper and picked me up - so good to see her.

My birthday yesterday was a quiet one.   I got to sleep in late - which was a much needed treat.  But after a few hours of work (Fridays are extra busy) we hit the road to make the 400 mile drive to Roanoke College.  My mom was concerned because the Weather Channel was warning of potential snow and freezing rain, but the trip was relatively uneventful and fine.

We stopped mid-way - in Jonesville, North Carolina - for a bit of birthday dinner.  I was nice...candlelight, table for two....except of course if you somehow don't think of Cracker Barrel as romantic.  Thankfully, Elizabeth and I do.  It was funny...the table next to us had a family of 10 at it and the waitress arrive with arms full of food.  She had to stand there for a minute while the family said grace.  Elizabeth said you know you're in the boonies when more than half of the people in a packed restaurant are wearing camouflage.  Anyway, we got here at 10 last night.

Thanks to all who wrote to me yesterday - I'm way behind on email.  Perhaps the most significant surprise of the day is that I got a call from my ex-wife wishing me a Happy Birthday.  I didn't expect that.  We had a cordial talk about birthdays past and, as often happens when we talk about the past, she started to cry but we kept the tears to a minimum.

I'm in Salem, VA this morning - at Roanoke College.  We stayed at an old house on campus for visiting faculty and such, called Monterey House (photo to the left).  It was built in 1853 and the first thing Elizabeth said is that she bet the place was haunted.  We've had fun with that all night long.  Anyway, it's nice.  I'm the keynote speaker from 2-3, there is a reception afterwards, and then we'll hit the road for the drive back.  I expect we'll get home at midnight.

I wanted to mention a couple of things this morning before heading off to breakfast....

There was a news report in Denver about the transgender 2nd grader there.  It's better than the last report that this reporter did.  You can read it, and see the video report.

The following alert went out yesterday about a situation in Montgomery County, Maryland.  It's self-explanatory and the possible implications could be significant.  If you can help to fight this, please see the instructions at the end.  This kind of hysteria and fear-mongering needs to be confronted forcefully everywhere it erupts because it's part of the package that somehow empowers people to take more drastic, violent actions.

MTV announced a National Day of Silence to remember murdered Jr. High School student Lawrence King on Feb 12. (details here).  In related news, the Transgender Law Center said the oppose charging the alleged shooter, who is 14 years old, as an adult. (details here).

On the Tyra Banks Show on Tuesday:

Inside the Operating Room for a Sex Change Watch one transgender's emotional journey to become the woman she feels she has always been. Alaina bravely opens up about her three-year transition from male to female. Cameras document the sexual reassignment surgery that makes her a legal woman. Her fiancé and mom join her on stage before and after the surgery. Both say they'll lend unconditional support. Then, meet a Tyra Show employee who is in the beginning stages of becoming a woman. Hear her journey and troubled past. Plus, find out what it was like to come out to co-workers and hear what she has planned for the future.

Lots more going on but that's all I have time for this morning.  I'll try to catch up a little tomorrow.....

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

11:50pm:   I am back from my whirlwind trip to beautiful Spokane, WA.  Thanks to Trish and the rest of the gang who came to my talks at Spokane Falls Community College (some chose to endure my talks not just once - but twice).  One person approached me after my talk last night and said that he hoped that Spokane had a transgender community but he never knew where to find them.  They were out in force last night.

The only hitch in the entire trip is that my flight home was delayed by a couple of hours so it's midnight and I just got home.  That would normally be bad news, but it delayed us to the point where we had a perfect view of the lunar eclipse tonight - right out my window.  It was like having my own window on it - above the cloud.  It was truly fun to watch.

At this time tomorrow I'll be in Charleston.   I need to repack tonight, I've got a full day of work ahead of me tomorrow, and then a late afternoon flight arriving in Charleston at midnight.  The pace of my visit there will be similarly crazy, but it'll be nice to see Elizabeth even though there won't be much opportunity for down time.

There are a couple of articles of interest I should mention...

The first is the report in Time Magazine about the murder of Jr. High School student Lawrence King in Oxnard, CA last week.  It's titled, Prosecuting the Gay Teen Murder.  It sparked a response from GLSEN in the Houston Voice today.  In the meantime, more candlelight vigils are scheduled in Sacramento, Fresno, and West Hollywood.

If you want to see how bad reporting is done there's an article in The Saginaw News about an upcoming visit from Julie Nemecek to give a talk there.  The title of the article is Transgendered Cross-Dresser to Visit Saginaw.  It says: "Nemecek came out as a transgendered cross-dresser -- she is married to a woman, has had no gender-altering surgeries but wears women's attire -- and legally changed her name three days before college administrators fired her in February 2007 after 16 years of teaching there. "  A little later it goes on to say, "She was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder, or Gender Dysphoria, which psychologists consider a rare neurological condition that likely begins in the womb."  I'd expect to see this kind of garbage in some right-wing flyer, but not in a "reputable" newspaper.

There was an article in the New York Times yesterday about a new talk show host in India.  The catch?  She's trans.  The story is an interesting one, and I can't wait until something similar happens in this country.  It will be huge.

A group in Maryland is trying to overturn recent legislation adding gender identity to the county discrimination policy.  (read about it here). 

I need to keep things short.  The morning is just around the corner so that's all for tonight.....
 

,Monday, February 18, 2008

8:00pm:   My schedule over the next few weeks is as follows:

8:00am:   The good news about Holidays is that traffic is generally lighter.  Of course, there are often other perks too but President's Day isn't really one of the biggies.  No cards.  No candy.  No picnics or religious observances.  It's sort of like they realized that they needed some sort of holiday between New Year's and Easter so this is it.

I've got a couple of HRC-related tidbits to share this morning.  The HRC Carolinas dinner was held in Charlotte, NC this past weekend.  I received a call about the Transgender education initiative there, and expect that additional details will be forthcoming.  The most interesting news is from an article in yesterday's Charlotte Observer making specific mention of the fact that attendance was down this year, from it's usual 1,500 people to 1,200.  That's still a lot of people, but represents a 20% drop that'sconsistent with what we've seen so far in Austin, Phoenix, and Philadelphia.  Organizers said this about the dip in attendance: "Fewer tickets were sold for the annual event, which usually attracts about 1,500. The event was on a different weekend than usual and people are trying to save money with a poor economy, organizers said."  (read the story here).  Does that wash with you?  It doesn't with me.

There are already plans underway for larger scale efforts at upcoming galas in NYC and in Houston.  Demonstrators in NYC are urging award winners Vanessa Williams and Idina Menzel not to attend (read details).  It's truly a shame it has come to this, but I truly believe that events of last autumn have damaged their credibility to the point that it significantly affects their bottom line.  I don't think the true fallout of it all will become fully apparent for quite some time. 
 

Sunday, February 17, 2008

6:00pm:   Maybe this weekend represents the "transgender lifestyle".  I met my son for a late breakfast.  I did some shopping, some cleaning, and a couple of loads of wash.  I spent some time out front enjoying the 70 degree weather, spraying weed killer on the weeds poking their heads through the gravel in my front yard.  I'm planning to grill a hamburger for dins and get to bed early - 5:05am comes way too early.  Somehow, I don't feel like I'm a threat to Western civilization.  At least not today.

I've gotten a few emails on U2 so I figured I'd share one of their songs that hits home for me.... 

Speaking of videos, Marti Abernathy pulls together something she calls "Transgender YouTube Sunday" on TransAdvocate.com.  If you've got a few minutes head over there (here's the link) to check some of them out.  As Marti says, the second one is a particularly good Trans 101 and well worth watching.

Apparently not everyone wants to learn.  A Tennessee legislator has proposed legislation there to prevent talk about anything other than heterosexuality in public schools there:

There is a trans conference in Denver this coming week that I'd love to get to, but will be in Virginia instead.  It's Colorado Gold Rush Conference, sponsored by the Gender Identity Center of Colorado. Maggie Stumpp from Prudential will be there.  So will Jenny Boylan.  Over these past few weeks I've mentioned Kim Pearson, the Executive Director of Trans Youth Family Advocates (TYFA) several times.  She'll be there, too (make sure to hug her, and to donate if you can - anything will help). 

Speaking of Kim from TYFA and of Denver, the situation there with the 8-year old child made the Washington Times today (link here).  They interview Kim, and she is articulate and poignant as always.  I find the last comment to be a good dig - the fact that after months of careful planning this situation was "outed" by a particular father who just can't keep his mouth closed.

Finally, the IFGE Conference is coming to Tucson during the first week of April and I'll be there (read a recent Press Release about it here).  Early April is a beautiful time of year here - get ready to be wow'd.
 

Saturday, February 16, 2008

9:00pm:   This is my last "down" weekend in quite a while so I'm doing my best to take it easy. 

I went to see the U23D movie at the IMAX theater this afternoon which was both good and bad.  It's good because it was an amazing movie.  It's bad because it has quite probably ruined any concert movie (or perhaps even any concert experience) that I see from this point on.  It was a total sensory onslaught - 3D glasses provided a wild perspective, camera angles that put you right up on stage, crystal clear sound, a 6-story high screen, it was truly a cornucopia for the the senses.

There was a haunting version of "One" and the movie is worth seeing for that alone.  But there's so much more. 

As Bono is introducing One he says "The difficulties of our pasts will not prevent us from making a better future for ourselves."  He explains that they key is to act as "One".  Needless to say, it has a unique significance to me (there is a video of it posted on Youtube - not the movie version but it still gives me goosebumps).

I also uploaded my first post to Bilerico this afternoon.  I'm figuring that the people who visit Bilerico may not be familiar with me, how I think, how I write, or anything else so I started with something simple:  Donna Rose: A Self-Introduction.  If you get some time and haven't visited Bilerico before you might want to check it out.  There are already a number of well-respected trans activists there as well as a very diverse group of regular contributors.  Part of the agreement is to post something new there at least once every two weeks and I expect the things I post will be similar but different than the things I post here. 

There was a posting on Bilerico earlier today titled Southern California Mourns 15-Year Old Shooting Victim Larry King that is very moving.  Most moving, however are the powerful remarks of Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center CEO Lori Jean at a news conference from yesterday, captured on video.  Watch it, truly inhale the words, and you will feel how so many of us feel about this unspeakably tragedy.  Then, download the printed version of her remarks and share it with people in your communities. 

While you're there, stop at the LA Gay and Lesbian Center's Home Page and watch the "A Day In The Life of the Center" video in the top right corner of the page.  It's almost ten minutes long and well worth watching.  The problem is that these kinds of things are few and far between, and the need for them has never been greater.

Susan Stanton is back in the news again, but this time it's related to her job.  She's reportedly a finalist for the Iowa City City Manager job.  Best luck to her with that - I really hope she gets it.

Lastly for tonight, there's an extended article titled "The Transgender Moment: Evangelicals hope to respond with both moral authority and biblical compassion to gender identity disorder."  It appears, of all places, in the February 2008 edition of Christianity Today magazine. (read it here).  Although it's not as righteous as many others I've seen, and in fact has some positive stuff in it, in the end they still see us as mentally "confused" and in need of psychiatric counseling. 

I continue to find it difficult to rationalize how a doctine built on a tenet of not judging others is also founded upon doing just that.  And, I find it difficult to understand how the church can talk about "soul" and "spirit" on one hand, but then argue that "the essense of who you are is in your genetics."  As with most thing having to deal with faith, these are not rational arguments.  You either believe, or you don't.  In this case, I don't.

They specifically talk about Julie Nemecek from Michigan in the article.  She was at Creating Change in Detroit and we spent a little while chatting; she seems to be doing well....

6:30am:   Don't ask me what I'm doing up at 6am on a Saturday morning when I should be sleeping.  I wish I knew.

There's a news report on the Vigil in Oxnard from last night for slain Jr. High School student Larry King.

There's also a press story already online: Slain teen remembered as fun, quirky at Rainbow Alliance candlelight vigil

And, there's a heart-breaking story out of the UK about a 10-year old who took his own life: Gender torment of 10-year-old Cameron

On one hand you have these poignant, incredibly sad reminders of the dangers so many of our youth face each and every day: at school, at home, in life.  Contrast that to a new T-shirt being marketed to raise money for HRC, based on Joe's comments on The Colbert Report last week:

Someone in a position of authority at HRC thought this was a good idea?  (More info. here)

Friday, February 15, 2008

12:30pm:   Outgoing Task Force ED Matt Foreman has always said it the way it is, but seems freer to say what he's really feeling now that he's leaving.  This was particularly apparent on Wednesday's Mike Signorile's Sirius OutQ show on Wednesday when, deconstructing the entire ENDA fiasco, he said what many in the trans community (and beyond) have felt for months:

There's a lot of good stuff in this interview, so if you've got some time to listen you can hear it all on PageOneQ from Wednesday.

As you might imagine, this didn't sit well with Barney who called those remarks "absurd" and asked to be able to rebut them on Thursday's show.  Barney is not shy about saying what's on his mind either, and blasted Matt right back - saying that he's "covering his ass" and implying that he's being fired from his job.  Again, there's quite a bit of interesting swordplay here and you can listen to Barney Frank's response on PageOneQ from Thursday.

There's much to know that's not being shared - not about past history but about current and short-term future events.  Conversations are underway about Congressional hearings to feature trans-people.  The original plan to include Susan Stanton and a short list of others is no longer on the table.  Instead, a much more far-reaching plan is being discussed that, if done properly, has the potential to be amazing and historic.  It's a work in progress so sharing more would be premature at this point.  However, I expect that it will all come together in the coming weeks. 

9:00am:   I've got two things to mention, and both of them deal with death.

In the first, the police handling of situation where a transgender victim was shot in the head and dumped in an alley in Detroit last week is being questioned. 

 The second thing to mention is a vigil that is scheduled for tonight in Oxnard CA for the 14-year old Jr. High School student who was shot in the head at school on Wednesday.

If you live nearby and can make it please try to be there to show support.  GLAAD is trying to get CNN coverage.  There may be politicians and lawmakers there.  It's an important event.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

6:30pm:   Last year on Valentine's Day I was in Charleston, visiting Elizabeth.  It was a gray, cool, windy day and we took a long walk on the beach  We had lunch at an Irish Pub nearby....I remember it like it was yesterday.

It seems that I typically hear songs on Valentine's Day that stick in my head for the duration of the day.  In my entry for Feb. 14 2006 that song was Lonely People by America.  Last year it was Just My Imagination by the Temptations.  This year - for better or for worse - it's a song by Rascal Flatts titled "What Hurts the Most".  I'm not quite sure what that means, if anything, but there's probably some connection to something.

BTW - I got a Valentine's Day Email from the Obama campaign today with a funny cartoon on it.

I went to the doctor's this morning and am feeling a little better.  I stayed home so I didn't have to talk so much which helped the throat.  This doctor is the doctor I went to during my entire transition and going back to him is a hoot.  His assistant is Nicole, who I remember from those early days and who still can't believe how things have changed for me.  I was in Room 1 today - it used to have a big painting of Liza Minelli in it.  I used to stand there with my butt cheek exposed so they could give me my shot, looking right at Liza.  Anyway, Liza is gone and I asked what happened.  Come to find out it was an original Andy Warhol painting and the doctor sold it!  Anyway, my blood pressure was 120/82 so that's good.  They took blood.  And, I got my hormone script refilled.  One question that people ask is whether or not we have to take hormones for the rest of our lives. I don't know that we have to, just as a post-menopausal woman doesn't necessarily have to.  I just know that I will. 

The two stories making headlines today both involve kids and, in a very real way, are related.  One is the 2nd grader in Denver - a story that has become national news and is being treated in hateful and disrespectful ways.  This one father who is complaining that he doesn't want to have to explain to his daughter that one of her classmates doesn't feel like a boy just won't keep his ignorant mouth closed.  His most recent comments:

Controls in place??  Transgender clothing??!!  That's as crazy as Barney Frank's "People of Transgender" comment from last fall, except you'd think that Mr. Frank would know better (speaking of Barney Frank, I think he's about to get back on the Transgender radar).

This irresponsible reporting has gotten to the point that GLAAD issued another Action Alert about it.  If you get a chance go to it and look at the 3 video reports.  This has become a topic of conversation around the country and, I daresay, we can expect more of these.  The EDGE in Boston has a good story on the entire situation titled "Transgendered Colo. Child Inspires Support, Condemnation".

It's the parents that are the problem here, not the kids.  The kids can deal with it fine if they're just left alone.  One story I can share: Elizabeth has a son who's 8 years old.  His teacher had been away for a few days, and when she came back to class she explained that her daughter had had surgery to take out her tonsils.  She went on to explain to the kids about surgery.  One of the other kids in class raised his hand and explained that his mother had some surgery, too, to fix a broken bone.  Not to be outdone, Elizabeth's son raised his hand and told the class, as matter-of-factly as can be,  "Well, my father had surgery and now he's a woman."  Elizabeth got a call from the school that night warning her about what had happened and that there might be repercussions.  Don't you know that the teacher got a call from a parent who asked that her child not sit in a desk anywhere near Elizabeth's son.  That's the level of "crazy" involved in all of this.

The tragic incident that I mentioned yesterday has grabbed national headlines as well.  A 15-year old Jr. High School student was shot twice in the back of the head in class, with 20 other students watching on.  Apparently, the victim sometimes wore "makeup, high heels, and other feminine attire."  At this point they're keeping the victim on life support so the organs can be used for organ donations.  The 14-year old who apparently did this is expected to be tried as an adult, and today the shooting was identified as a Hate Crime (Los Angeles time report here).  It's horrible.

If you've seen me speak over the last couple of years you may remember that I sometimes talk about Amancio Corralles, the victim of a hate crime in Yuma, AZ in May 2005 (some details here).  I spoke at a vigil honoring Amancio 3 months later and it's an experience I'll never forget for many, many reasons.  Things somehow seem so clear when you're looking into the eyes of a mom who has just lost an innocent child to a brutal hate crime. The reason I bring this up here is that a bill has been introduced into the state legislature that's a Hate Crimes bill.  It will add Gender Identity or Expression to the list of characteristics that can be used to prosecute a crime as a Hate Crime.  A press release today from the Amancio Project explains the significance:

A suspect was arrested in the case last year but the pre-trial efforts are dragging on and there hasn't even been a trial yet.  The press release goes on to say:

It's not just happening in one place. It's happening everywhere.  If people ask me the most supportive community for transgender and gender variant people in this country I'll invariably include Seattle in a very short list.  There was an article in the Seattle Times today talking about violence and harassment against trans-folk there:

What impact does all of this have on community activism?  That's part of what I wanted to assess for myself at Creating Change.  One potential outcome is that people would be sick up fed of all the crap, demoralized, and apathetic.  The other is that they'd be defiant and re-energized to action, and I'm glad to say that he 2,100+ people there were very much full of the latter.  One local newspaper wrote a recap of the event staying:

Our kids are being brutalized, physically and emotionally, and whenever someone has the nerve to tell me that T doesn't belong with GLB (or vice versa) I tell them they're living in a dream world. I feel the same way when people tell me that transsexuals are "special" and don't belong with the other groups haphazardly lumped together as "transgender".  Bullshit on all of that.  If people could get past their own internalized homophobia, transphobia, and elitism they'd see that arguing about these kinds of things is truly immaterial and, in fact, smacks of the same kind of ignorance that causes a father to trash-talk a gender variant 8-year-old.  Donna's agenda is an agenda that stresses community.  It stresses compassion, and respect, and dignity.  It's about people's freedom to be themselves in whatever way makes them most comfortable - without having to apologize for it, suffer for it, or justify it.  It's an agenda that doesn't see letters, labels, walls, fears, or other things that would in any way make some feel more valued than others. 

I align myself with people, efforts, and organizations that feel similarly.  I reject anything less.  It's absolutely clear to me.  And, when events like these last several days pile on one another we're faced with choices to hide or to speak up.  That's what made Creating Change such a special experience.  The buzz will continue until next year, when we'll do it all again....

After all of the mess with HRC